Let Me Prove It To You
by wild-angel82
Summary: It’s been months since Emily Prentiss left the BAU and the US for that matter. It’s also been months since she last saw Jennifer Jareau. But what happens when Emily gets a call that JJ has been in an accident? JJ/Emily femslash.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Let Me Prove It To You

Pairing: JJ/Emily

Summary: It's been months since Emily Prentiss left the BAU and the US for that matter. It's also been months since she last saw Jennifer Jareau. But what happens when Emily gets a call that JJ has been in an accident?

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or its characters. I wish I did, though.

A/N: This is going to be my first Emily/JJ chapter story. I figured that after all those oneshots, it was time for something longer :) Not sure how long it's going to be, but this idea has been bugging me for months, so I finally started putting it on "paper" :D Not much happening in this first chapter, but this is just something to start with. I hope you enjoy!

**Let Me Prove It To You**

**Chapter 1**

Emily Prentiss walked onto a terrace of a ridiculously expensive beach house in Tuscany. She had never really been a morning person, but ever since she moved in there, she started to somewhat enjoy the earliest part of the day. So every day she would make herself a cup of coffee and sit on the terrace for about an hour to enjoy the tasty hot beverage as well as a gentle sea breeze.

When she first decided to leave the BAU, she had no idea what she was going to do with her life. The only thing she knew that she couldn't stay in Quantico or even in the US anymore. At first, her mother suggested that she join her in Paris, where she was currently residing, but the idea of spending more time than necessary with her mother did not sit well with Emily. She didn't mind the occasional dinner here and there, but the idea of being in such proximity to her mother for an extended period of time scared Emily to death. So even though her mother couldn't stop insisting for at least three weeks, Emily politely declined the offer and told her mother that she'd rather be somewhere on her own.

For a while she had this idea of travelling the world, but in the end she realized that she really was a bit tired of moving around and came to the conclusion that she'd rather settle somewhere nice and quiet. She knew money wasn't an object and she had more than enough to last her for at least a year, until she was ready to decide what she was going to do with the rest of her life. She knew she was going to have to make that decision sooner or later and she definitely wasn't ready to leave the Bureau permanently, but she knew that she needed a break somewhere where she wouldn't be haunted by memories she was trying so hard to forget.

So finally, after weighing pros and cons of many places, she decided on Tuscany, a place she held dear in her heart from the time she had spent there when she was younger. Her mother had a beach house there, and while Emily wasn't 100% comfortable with taking anything from her mother, after the Ambassador insisted and promised that she would not be making any unannounced visits to that particular property, Emily decided that maybe moving into that house wasn't such a bad idea.

The first few days after she moved in were a little tough. Everything was so much different than in Quantico. She was now living in a huge beach house, instead of an apartment, however spacious hers might have been, she didn't have any immediate neighbors and she could go to the beach and into the ocean any time she wanted. At first she didn't really care about all those things, but as time went by, she learned to appreciate them. It brought her joy that she was able to sit at her terrace and breathe the fresh air and not worry about her neighbors fighting, moving furniture or trying to get their kids to behave.

With all the free time on her hands, she had learned to celebrate and enjoy each simple activity more than she had done in the past. Coffee used to be just a necessity that she would grab on her way to work after having slept for just over three hours. Now coffee was a part of her entire morning ritual, which also included a morning bath and a sit-down on her terrace.

What amazed her every day as she sat outside breathing the ocean air was the beauty of her surroundings. She remembered Tuscany as extremely captivating from the time she had spent there in the past, but she realized that somehow it had gotten even more beautiful than the time she last saw it. She also realized that watching the ocean and listening to the waves hit the shore brought her some sort of comfort, even if just for a little while. She knew well that she was never really going to escape the memories that kept haunting her at night, but she knew she had to try, before it made her insane. Getting away from Quantico was the first and easiest step. The more difficult task was to erase a certain communications liaison from her mind. Because so far, no matter where she went, the blonde's eyes and her smile were etched in Emily's mind and she knew it was going to take much more than moving to a fancy beach house half across the world to get rid of those images. They did seem a little more blurry with each passing day, at least that's what she was hoping, nevertheless they were still there and she hated the fact that there was nothing that she could do about it.

Sometimes she was almost mad at herself for letting herself fall so hard for someone who could never be hers. From the very beginning she knew it was stupid and hopeless, yet no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help but develop stronger feelings for the liaison with every single day. With every meeting, every case together, every smile, every bottle of wine shared with the blonde, she kept falling harder and harder, until there was no more place to fall. Maybe if she hadn't let herself fall so in love with Jennifer Jareau, all of this would have been easier. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much. Or maybe then it would never have been necessary to get away from her in the first place. But with the feelings that she still did have for her colleague, it was simply impossible to stay. It was impossible to be around her and not wanna scream and shout and either fall apart or be mad at the blonde and the world. Or herself. Because really, she no longer knew whose fault it was that her life had become such a mess.

Emily sighed at the realization that she can't go a single day without thinking about JJ. It had been months since they were last in contact, yet it didn't seem to hurt any less.

She was suddenly brought back to reality by the sound of a ringing phone. When she looked at her cell phone, she immediately realized that the call was coming from Quantico, Virginia, the US. She didn't recognize that particular number, but she knew all the prefixes by heart. A part of her wanted to just let it go and not pick up, but the other part felt that the call might be something important.

"Hello?" She finally decided to answer and it surprised her how weird it was to answer the phone without a _Prentiss _or _Agent Prentiss_ thrown in somewhere.

"Hi Emily, it's Garcia…" She heard her friend's voice and immediately regretted taking that call.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: First of all, thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews!! You have no idea how much they mean to me! :) And I promised I wouldn't make you wait long for the next chapter, so here it is!

**Chapter 2**

"Garcia?" Emily asked, thinking for a split second that maybe she heard it wrong. But she didn't. "How did you get this number?" She asked curious, because she made sure that she didn't give that number to anyone.

"I realize that you've been gone for a while, but have you forgotten what the goddess does for a living?"

"Right." Emily replied and laughed at herself for not realizing that sooner. Obviously Garcia would have no problems tracking her down. She's Garcia after all. "Hi." Emily said to her. "What's up?" She asked and realized that it really was a stupid question to ask someone you haven't talked to in a couple of months. She knew this wasn't just about Garcia needing girl talk or something. There was something going on.

"Look, I know that you want to be left alone and all that… And I've made my peace with it, I really have. I still miss you like crazy, we all do, but we have learned to…"

"Garcia!" Emily almost shouted her friend's name in order to remind her to get to the point.

"Right." Garcia sighed as she realized that this was going to be harder than she initially thought. She still wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing calling Emily, but something kept telling her that Emily would wanna know. "Listen, I wasn't sure if I should call you about this or not, so please don't hate me if I made the wrong choice."

"Garcia, please!" Emily asked again.

"OK, here it goes. JJ has been in an accident…" Emily's legs almost gave out at hearing the words JJ and accident in the same sentence. Her heart started beating faster as she listened to Garcia continue. "Don't worry, she is OK. Unconscious at the moment, but the doctors say she is stable and should be just fine. " Emily's breathes become a little lighter once she heard that JJ was going to be fine, but she still felt like someone hit her on the head with something really heavy. "I know that you and JJ didn't really part on good terms, but I thought that you deserved to know." Garcia added and waited for some sort of reaction from Emily.

_4 months earlier… _

"_Emily, please just try and understand." JJ begged with tears streaming down her face as she saw the utter horror in Emily's eyes after what she had just told her. _

"_I have tried and I failed." Emily replied calmly, but JJ knew that she was far from calm. Emily's eyes were a clear indication that she really wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. "I don't understand." She added as she became a little more emotional. "I will never understand how you can just go and be with him after everything that has happened between us."_

"_Emily…" JJ begged, but Emily wouldn't let her say anything more._

"_And don't tell me that it didn't mean anything to you. Because I know it did. At least that's what I thought." Emily looked into the blonde's eyes and knew that she was right. "Which is why I will never understand why you are doing this." Emily said once again and JJ could see tears welling up in the other agent's eyes. It was killing her to do it, but there was no way she could continue this relationship. For a moment JJ was just staring at Emily, not knowing what to say, until she finally broke the silence._

"_I just never thought it would go this far…" _

"_So what exactly was I to you?" Emily shouted as more and more anger kept building up inside her. "Some fucking experiment that you forgot to conduct in college? You just suddenly realized that you had forgotten to check what it's like to be with a woman before you made a commitment to your detective?!" Emily paused for a moment to see reaction more carefully, but JJ was still struggling to say anything. "So, did I live up to your expectations? Was the girl on girl action everything it's cracked up to be? Was it everything you imagined?"_

"_You know it's not like that!" JJ protested, tears streaming down her face._

"_Then what is it like then? Tell me!" Emily insisted. "Because I sure as hell wanna know!"_

"_Emily, this is complicated." JJ admitted through tears. "I'm just so confused…"_

"_You didn't seem too confused when you were screaming out my name in the middle of the night." Emily reminded her and looked at her intently. The way she looked at JJ made the blonde weak in the knees and her heart started beating faster at the memory of the nights that she and Emily had spent together making love. But life was more than just passion, kisses that made you breathless or feelings that scared you to death. And she needed some sense of normalcy in her life, something she couldn't achieve with everything that she was feeling around Emily. It was all too much and she was afraid it was going to be the death of her._

"_Please, don't." JJ begged again, because she knew that the more Emily was going to talk about everything that they had shared, the more difficult it was going to be to walk away. "Don't…" She cried, not knowing what else to say. She knew Emily would never understand why she couldn't be with her and she knew that nothing she could ever say was going to make it any easier on Emily. She hated doing this, but she couldn't go on like this._

"_Don't what?" Emily asked angry. "Don't remind you about what we had? What we _have_?" She added stressing the present form of the verb. "Because no matter what you tell me, no matter how hard you try to convince me that you want to be with him, I know that whatever it is that's between us is still there. And it's not going away." Emily was sure of that and when she looked into JJ's eyes, she could swear that JJ knew that too. _

"_I don't know what it is that we have, Emily." JJ finally spoke. "But whatever it is, it's too much and it's too complicated and I can't take it." She said trembling as she wiped away the tears rolling down her cheeks. _

"_So you're just gonna run?" Emily asked, almost not being able to believe that JJ would choose this way of dealing with everything. "Give up on us? Because you're scared? And what it is about him that is so NOT scary?" Emily inquired wanting to just take JJ by the shoulders and shake her so hard she would come to her senses. _

"_Em…" Emily heard JJ say and it made her even angrier. How dare she call her that after all the horrible things that she's saying. How dare she! And how dare she walk away from this!_

_But as angry as Emily was, she wanted nothing more than to take JJ into her arms, hold her and kiss her, like so many times before. She couldn't understand why JJ suddenly seemed to not want all those things that Emily knew were so right. She finally took one step closer towards the blonde and took her by the hand. JJ's heart almost stopped and the simple gesture sent shivers up and down her body._

"_You look me in the eye and you tell me that you want to walk away from this." Emily took one step closer and ran her other hand through JJ's hair. She knew it was driving JJ crazy and stupidly enough, she thought it was going to be enough to make her change her mind. "You look me in the eye and tell me that you wanna go." She repeated. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you wanna be with _him_." She finished as she looked at JJ so intently that she could swear the blonde was going to fall apart right there and then. _

"_I can't… " Was all JJ managed to say as she slid her hand out of Emily's and turned her head away from the brunette. She knew she wouldn't be able to look her in the eye and say it. She could never lie to Emily and she knew this time was gonna be no different. And she knew she had to get away as soon as possible, or another touch or look from Emily and she would break. And as she left Emily's apartment and walked into the night, she knew she was walking away from something amazing and she hated herself for not being strong enough to fight for it. _


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Another flashback in this one, but the current storyline will pick up in the next chapter! As always enjoy and let me know what you think!

**Chapter 3**

"Emily, are you still there?" Emily suddenly heard Garcia's voice, which brought her back to reality.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm still here." She replied. "Sorry, I just got lost in my own world for a moment…"

"No worries." Garcia told her and she knew very well who Emily must be thinking about. How could she not after receiving news like that. Still unsure if she made the right decision by telling Emily, Garcia continued. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah." Emily answered still a little shaken up and not totally sure if this conversation was really happening or if she was just going crazy and imagining things. "Tell me what happened?" She asked, because she just needed to know. She had to know.

"The guys were on a case in Florida and something went wrong. One of our SUVs got blown up. Morgan was next to the car, so he got hit a little, but JJ was already inside, so she took the biggest blow. Fortunately the bomb wasn't that good, otherwise…" Garcia stopped, because she knew she didn't even have to say it. "Anyway, like I said, she is still unconscious, but they say she should wake up literally any minute now. Once she does, they'll probably be able to tell us something more about her condition."

"Good." Emily whispered and realized how it must have sounded. "I mean not good that this happened, but good that she's going to be fine."

"Yeah, I know what you meant." Garcia said softly and it almost broke her heart to hear the sadness in Emily's voice when she was talking about JJ. She knew that Emily still missed the blonde and her heart was still broken, no matter how hard she was trying to convince everybody else otherwise.

"Can you call me when she wakes up?" Emily finally asked. "I'd like to know. I mean I still…" She started, but she wasn't really sure what she wanted to say or what she still did or didn't feel for JJ. "She's… I still care."

"Oh I know you do, honey. I know you do." Garcia replied and Emily could swear that the analyst was smiling gently. "You don't stop caring about someone just because they…" Garcia realized that she didn't really know how to finish that sentence, since she didn't know what it was exactly that had gone on between Emily and JJ. She knew it was bad and she knew that it had something to do with a certain detective that JJ dated briefly at the time, but she never really knew the details of why the two had broken up. Emily simply had left and JJ wouldn't talk about it.

"You can say it, Garcia." Emily sighed. "Just because they make you fall in love with them and then leave you for someone who supposedly is a safe and right choice." She finished and she immediately hated herself for bringing Garcia into the whole thing. It's not that she minded sharing things with her friend, but she promised herself that she wouldn't mope around and make other people feel sorry for her, because of what had happened between her and JJ. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"That's OK." Garcia cut her short. "It's hard not to think about her considering the situation." She added, but quickly decided that Emily probably didn't feel like continuing the conversation in this direction, so she decided to change the subject a little bit. "So how have you been?"

"OK." She replied, but Garcia knew it couldn't possibly be the truth. Though she decided to accept that answer, because there really was no point in making Emily tell her how she really felt. "I've learned to live far away from the city. And people for that matter too."

"It was tough on all of us when you left." Garcia told her. "It was especially hard on JJ." She added, but Emily didn't really want to hear it.

_3 months earlier_

"_So you're just gonna leave?!" JJ asked trying to wrap her head around why Emily would make such a drastic decision. _

"_Why not?" Emily replied, trying to appear calm. "That's what you did."_

"_I didn't leave." JJ insisted and looked around Emily's living room where the brunette had put all the clothes she was going to pack._

"_No, you just walked out on me. It's not that different." _

"_Yes it is." JJ almost cried. "Because I didn't just pack my bags and disappear to God knows where."_

"_Yeah well, it would have been a lot easier if you had!" Emily shouted and it was the truth. If JJ had just gone far away, she might have been able to get over what happened between them. But not when she had to see JJ day after day, work with her, talk to her, share hotel rooms with her… It was all just too much to take and Emily couldn't believe that JJ couldn't see what it was doing to her. Or maybe she did see and chose to ignore it, because she couldn't stand the fact that she was the reason for how crappy Emily had felt recently. _

"_Emily, please, think about this." JJ begged and Emily couldn't really understand why it was such a big deal for her. It's not like they were anything more than colleagues ever since the break up. Why would JJ suddenly feel so strongly about her staying or leaving?_

"_What's there to think about?" Emily said matter-of-factly. "I can't stay at the BAU and please don't tell me you don't know why." Emily stopped for a moment and looked intently at JJ. The expression on JJ's face told her that she knew exactly what Emily meant. "And if I can't stay at the BAU, there is really nothing that keeps me here."_

"_But…" JJ tried to protest, but she didn't really know what she was supposed to say. She didn't know how she was supposed to get Emily to stay without letting her feelings for the brunette resurface. She had learned to live with those feelings buried deep inside her and she couldn't jeopardize the stability she now had in her life by admitting how she really felt. She just couldn't. _

"_If you don't mind…" Emily looked at JJ meaningfully. "I have to pack."_

"_Emily, please don't go." JJ whispers and Emily can see the desperation in her eyes. But she decided that she wasn't gonna let that change her mind. She couldn't._

"_Why?" Emily asked, almost sure that JJ was not able to come up with a good reason for her to stay._

"_The team needs you." She spoke silently. "I…" she started and for a split second Emily thought that maybe JJ was finally going to tell her the truth about how she really felt. A part of Emily wanted to hear 'Emily, please don't go, because I love and I can't live without you.' And she knew that she would have stayed. Had JJ taken her in her arms and professed her love, Emily knew she wouldn't have been able to resist those beautiful eyes. Had JJ told her that she was finally over whatever it was that she had been going through and that that she was ready to be with her, Emily knew she would have taken JJ back. But she also knew JJ was never going to admit that, she was never gonna beg her to stay for the reasons that really mattered. Emily knew that JJ wanted her to stay and a part of her wanted to stay too, but a bigger part knew that there was no way she could continue to be anywhere near JJ and not get sick at the thought of the blonde sharing her bed with _him_. If JJ thought he was gonna make her happy, Emily was gonna give her that, because she wanted JJ to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. But she couldn't even begin to remember what happiness was if she didn't go somewhere far, far away._

"_Please just go, JJ." Emily asked, because she knew that having JJ there was just going to make everything so much harder. And it was hard enough without those blue eyes looking at her all the time. _

_As JJ walked up to the door, Emily walked right behind her and as JJ turned around to face her again, Emily looked at her emotionally, in a way giving JJ one last chance to make this right. One last chance to tell her everything she needed to hear. But as she looked into JJ's sad eyes, she knew it wasn't going to happen._

"_I'll miss you." Was all JJ managed to say as she once again stepped out of Emily's apartment into darkness, feeling like her world was slowly crushing down on her. _


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: The moment you have all been waiting for is almost here… So bear with me!

**Chapter 4 **

Emily was looking at a plane ticket to Washington, DC that had just come in the mail from Garcia. The flight was all booked and there was a simple note from the tech analyst that said:

_It's your choice, _

_G._

And it really was. A choice that she knew she had to make, but so desperately didn't want to. When Garcia told her about JJ, something inside Emily broke. She still hated JJ for what JJ had done, for walking out on her, for choosing_ him_ over her, for almost completely destroying her. But most of all she hated JJ for making her care so much. For making her fall in love with her and then stomping all over her heart. Emily had desperately wanted to stop caring, yet she couldn't. She couldn't just turn it off. No matter how much JJ had hurt her, Emily could never stop caring.

So when thoughts of unconscious JJ lying in a hospital bed flooded her mind, she knew what she had to do.

***

"Emily!" Garcia exclaimed as she saw her friend walking along the hospital hallway. "You came." She smiled at Emily softly as she stood up to give Emily a hug. Emily sat down next to Garcia.

"Garcia, who are you kidding?" Emily sighed. "You knew I was gonna come, didn't you? That's why you sent the ticket."

"Guilty as charged." Garcia admitted. "I'm sorry if I pushed you, Emily. I just figured you'd wanna be here."

"It's OK, really." Emily replied. "And you're right, I do want to be here." She took a moment before she continued. "I _need _to be here. I don't know why or what for, but I need to be here."

"Hey, Prentiss!" They suddenly heard Derek's voice. "Good to see you." He said and sent a small smile towards his former teammate. He walked up to her and Garcia and Emily stood up to give him a hug. Derek didn't know the whole story between Emily and JJ, but he knew enough to know how difficult it must be for Emily to be there.

"You too." Emily smiled back. "How are you? I heard you got a little banged up too?"

"Oh I'm fine." Derek answered and it took Emily a moment until she finally asked the question she had been dreading to ask.

"How is she?"

"Not much change since we last talked." Garcia started explaining. "She's still unconscious, but they say she should wake up any moment now. Her vitals are stable, so they don't see any reason why she shouldn't wake up soon."

Emily only nodded as she sat on the chair again. She buried her face and her hands and sighed deeply. She suddenly realized how exhausted she was, but she knew that trying to get any rest would be futile anyway.

"Hey, are you OK?" Derek asked concerned as he saw the expression on Emily's face.

"Yeah, it's just jetlag, that's all." She replied. "I'll be fine."

"Where is your stuff? Did you bring any? Where are you staying?" Garcia kept bombarding Emily with questions as she too was worried about her friend.

"I brought a bag, but I swung by my apartment to leave it there."

"Your apartment is still empty?"

"Yeah. My friends sometimes use it when they come to DC, but other than that I just haven't had time to deal with that."

"Did you get any rest?"

"I did a little on the plane, but other than that not so much. I mean I considered a nap when I was at my apartment, but I couldn't sleep. I was… you know… too nervous."

"Yeah, I can imagine." Garcia smiled sympathetically. "Let me at least get you some coffee, OK?" Garcia offered.

"Sure." Emily agreed.

Garcia turned to Derek and grinned. "Would you mind?"

"One coffee comin' up." Derek stood up and went towards the hospital cafeteria.

"So, you hanging in there, Prentiss?" Garcia asked after a moment.

"I'm trying to, Garcia, I'm trying." Emily sighed. "But to be honest I don't even know how I'm doing or why I'm doing what I'm doing." And she really didn't. The last couple of days had been like a blur. Getting the phone call from Garcia, getting the ticket, wondering what to do, trying to be strong enough and not come… But she just couldn't. She had to come, she had to see JJ, even if it was to get her heart broken all over again. But JJ was lying there alone and Emily couldn't stand that thought. Even after everything that had happened, she couldn't stand the thought of JJ waking up and her not being there when it happens. And regardless of what JJ did or didn't feel for her, Emily just had to be there for her, she had to.

"Would you like to see her?" Garcia suddenly asked and the question made Emily froze for a second. She didn't even know why, because it made sense that since she came here, she would go and see JJ. Yet the idea scared her to death.

"They'll let me?" She asked, not really totally sure what answer she was expecting to hear.

"I'm sure they will. I mean they let all of us in to see her." Garcia stood up. "I'll go find the doctor and ask, OK?"

"OK, thanks." Emily replied and watched Garcia walk away. A second later she noticed Derek coming over to her with her coffee.

"There you go." He handed her the cup.

"Thank you." She smiled weakly as she took the cup from him. "I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it." Derek answered and looked at Emily with a more serious expression on his face. "So, you're going in to see her or what?"

"In a minute I guess. Garcia went to clear it with the doctors. "

"Oh." Derek nodded and put his arm around Emily. "You're gonna be OK, Prentiss."

"I hope you're right." She took a deep breath as she realized how terrified she was of seeing JJ again after all those months. Suddenly it occurred to her that there should be someone else here anxious to see JJ or already by her side. Emily knew Rossi and Hotch had to be at work, but where was Will? For a moment she kept wondering whether she should bring him up at all, but she decided she couldn't avoid the subject forever.

"When is Will coming over?" She finally asked, not really sure if she was ready to hear the answer, let alone find herself in the same building as that man.

"He isn't." Derek answered and seeing the confusion on Emily's face, he added. "There is no Will anymore." Derek simply said and Emily didn't know what she was supposed to think about it. Or what she really thought, if she thought anything at all. Was she happy with the news? Not that it mattered anymore, anyway, she figured.

***

When Emily entered JJ's hospital room, she kept her eyes half-shut, because she was horrified of what she would see once she fully opens them. For a moment she kept looking at the wall in front of her and it took her a while until she lowered her eyes onto the bed. At first she just saw a shape on the bed and she didn't really recognize JJ until she brought herself to open her eyes and focus on the person lying in the bed instead of everything else that surrounded it.

Her stomach tightened as she took a full look at her former lover. She looked like she was sleeping and the only indication that she wasn't just simply asleep were the bruises on her face. That beautiful face. Emily thought that it was almost unnatural for such a beautiful face to be covered with those bruises. It was unnatural for JJ to be lying there at all. This was just wrong. It was wrong for good people like JJ to get hurt like this. Because despite everything that had happened between the two of them, Emily had no doubt that JJ was a good person. And she didn't deserve this.

Emily slowly walked up to the bed to get a closer look at JJ. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know whether she was supposed to say something or just stay silent… And do what exactly? She had no idea how to help JJ, no idea how to help herself… For a moment she just stood there looking at the woman she once loved so deeply, until she finally felt that her legs were giving out, so she took a chair and placed it on the left side of the bed. She sat down and continued looking at JJ when she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She realized this was just too much for her to take right now. Her heart started pounding and suddenly her mind got flooded with images of what might have happened if JJ had had more bad luck or had the bomb been a little better or had the paramedics not gotten there in time…

Feeling that she couldn't take it any longer, Emily stood up and headed for the door. But before she could leave, she heard something that almost made her pass out coming from behind her.

"Emily?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

Emily held her breath and for a moment she thought that maybe her mind was playing tricks on her.

"Em?" She heard her name called again and now she knew that it wasn't all in her head. JJ was awake.

Emily breathed deeply, not really sure what to do. All of this was hard enough with JJ unconscious, but now that the blonde had woken up, Emily was in a state of absolute panic. She knew she couldn't just leave the room, because JJ had to know that she had heard her. And a part of her desperately wanted to turn around and just take JJ in her arms thanking God that she was OK. But she knew she couldn't do that, so she slowly turned around and walked up to JJ's bed to make sure that the blonde was indeed awake.

When her eyes met JJ's, her heart melted as she saw a tiny smile spreading across the liaison's face.

"Welcome back." Emily said with a sigh of relief. She noticed that JJ was trying to say something, but she couldn't get the words out. "Don't speak." Emily asked as she inadvertently touched JJ's hand with hers trying to calm her down. She realized how much a simple touch of hand still affected her. "I'll go get the doctors." She said and hurried out of the room. And she hated herself for thinking that it was all too fast, because after all, JJ woke up and how could that ever be too fast? This was wonderful news and she should be relieved. And she was, of course she was. But at the same time she couldn't help feeling that she wasn't ready for this.

***

Garcia, Derek and Reid went inside JJ's hospital room and excitedly gathered around her bed. JJ sent a small smile their way as she was trying to see where Emily was. But she wasn't there, so maybe it indeed was a dream.

"Oh I'm so happy you're awake." Garcia squealed. "You gave us quite a scare." She hugged her friend gently.

"Sorry about that." JJ replied, though everybody knew it wasn't really her fault.

"You look good, girl." Derek chimed in and JJ laughed.

"I'm sure I do." She said sarcastically and she realized her ribs still hurt a little when she laughed. Fortunately nothing was broken, she was just a little banged up. She could live with that. Of course the doctors were supposed to run some more tests later, but so far everything looked good and there was nothing to worry about that. That gave JJ great comfort, not just for herself, but for her friends as well, because she knew how concerned they were about her.

"So how are you feeling?" Reid inquired after a while. He hoped his friend wasn't in too much pain.

"I've been better." JJ smiled. "But I'm OK. My muscles are a little sore and my hand hurts like hell." She shifted her sight onto her right hand with a couple of stitches. "But they say it should pass within a couple of days, so I'm not worried. I wish I could get out of here right now."

"Yeah, I bet you do." Garcia smiled. "But don't you even dare try anything. You're supposed to be on bed rest until they tell you it's OK to get up. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am." JJ replied with a smile. All three of her friends were relieved to see the smile that they had missed so much. Even though the doctors had told them from the beginning that JJ should be fine, naturally they still worried. Less and less, though, now that they were able to talk to her again.

***

Emily kept staring at the door to JJ's room. She was glad the others had gone in first, because that gave her some time to prepare for what was inevitably coming. After all, she had come here, so she knew she was going to have to face JJ and talk to her, but she had no idea how to go about it yet. She didn't know what she wanted to say or what she was supposed to say. But she did know that she needed to see JJ and make sure that she was alright.

When she saw Garcia, Reid and Derek leave JJ's room, she knew that they did that to let her be alone with JJ. A part of her was glad about that and a part of her just wanted to kill them or take them back with her.

"Hotch and Rossi are on their way." Derek explained. "But you can go in and see her now if you want." He added and Emily knew that she couldn't just put it off forever.

"Yeah." She smiled weakly and headed towards JJ's room. Before she opened the door, she took one more deep breath, although she really didn't think it was going to help.

When Emily entered the room, JJ turned her head to look at her former lover. A smile appeared on JJ's face and Emily could swear that her eyes lit up a little. Or maybe she was just imagining things.

"You're here." JJ whispered affectionately. "I thought it was all a dream."

"It wasn't. I'm here." Emily replied, still not sure how she was supposed to behave around JJ. She looked so fragile that Emily just wanted to take her in her arms and protect her from the world. But after everything that had happened between them, Emily couldn't bring herself to do that. Hard as she tried, she still wasn't over what JJ had done.

She took one step closer towards the bed and her hand was now almost touching JJ's. JJ could feel how close Emily was and she almost held her breath.

"I'm glad you came." JJ whispered. "I just wish I hadn't had to be blown up for that." She laughed.

"Don't, JJ… Just don't." Emily begged. "You know why I didn't come sooner. And you know why I left in the first place."

"I know, I'm sorry." JJ said with a sad expression on her face. Emily could see how uncomfortable JJ was and that she didn't really know what to say either.

"How are you doing?" Emily finally asked.

"I'm OK." JJ only smiled softly. "At least I will be in a couple of days."

"Are you in any pain?"

"Not right now. My hand hurt a little before, but they gave me some painkillers, so I'm good for the time being."

"Good." Emily replied as she kept looking at JJ with such intensity that it almost scared the blonde. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, JJ." Emily finally said and it was the truth. She was angry at JJ, she had been for some time now, but she would never ever wish anything like that on her. And it really was killing her that JJ had gotten hurt.

"I know you are." JJ smiled and she knew that no matter how angry and upset Emily was with her, it was still hard on her. Because JJ knew Emily and knew that she was a good person and she knew that Emily still cared. Even if she no longer loved her, she still cared. For a moment they kept looking at each other, wondering what else should be said, until finally JJ continued. "You look good, Emily." And she really did. JJ could see that Emily was a little tired, probably jetlagged, but she still looked beautiful. Just as beautiful as JJ remembered her.

Emily realized that the conversation was going in an undesirable direction for her, so she decided it was time to end it for now. "I'll let you get some sleep, OK?" She smiled softly. "You've had enough excitement for one day."

JJ wanted to scream for Emily to stay and be there with her, but she knew how hard it was for Emily, so she simply said, "OK."

Emily headed towards the door, but before the left, she could hear JJ calling after her.

"Emily?"

"Yeah?" She turned around.

"Will you… will you come by again?" JJ asked in a hopeful voice.

"Of course I will." She replied, as there was no doubt in her mind that she would be back. She knew she couldn't just stay away from JJ.

When Emily left the room, she noticed the rest of the team, plus Rossi and Hotch, who apparently had arrived, talking to the doctor. Before she walked up to them, the doctor left, leaving the group more than concerned.

"What was that all about?" Emily asked, a little worried herself, because obviously whatever the doctor had told them was about JJ.

"The doctor had some news about JJ." Garcia explained. "Apparently she suffered temporary damage to one of the nerves in her arm. I keep forgetting which one…" Garcia stopped and tried to come up with the name, but she decided that it really wasn't that important. "Anyway, they warned us that for a while she might have very limited motor function in her right arm and that maybe it was a good idea if she had someone to help her around the house. It shouldn't be longer than a week, maybe two."

"We were trying to figure out how we should do this and all." Derek explained and as Emily was listening to everything they were saying, her head was spinning. And every little piece of her body kept screaming 'Emily don't do it! Don't you dare do it!', yet the words that came out were a whole different story.

"I can do it."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

As soon as the words came out, she realized what she had just done. But she couldn't back down now, she just couldn't.

"Are you sure?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah." She replied although she was far from sure. It was an impulse. JJ needed help, and Emily just couldn't ignore that. "It's not like I have a job that I need to do be doing." She explained and that part was actually true. "I can stay here a week or two, I was planning to anyway."

"Good." Derek smiled. "That should definitely make it easier on JJ." He added and he knew he was right. JJ was evidently very happy to see Emily, even considering the circumstances under which the two had parted ways.

"I'm gonna go to the doctor and get some details." Emily finally said as she left the group. When she was gone, Garcia sighed deeply.

"Oh this is killing her." She stated and the rest didn't even have to say anything, because their expressions clearly indicated that they agreed and felt really bad for Emily. And for JJ as well, for that matter. Why did things have to go so wrong with the two of them?

***

When Emily came back she saw Garcia alone drinking her coffee.

"Where is everybody?" Emily looked around to see if maybe someone from the team was there as well.

"Derek and Reid went to grab a bite, Hotch and Rossi are with JJ." Garcia explained. "Did you get any good information from the doctor."

"Yeah, I learned some stuff. Hopefully I will be able to do this."

"I have no doubt in my mind that you will." Garcia smiled energetically. "_You_ can do anything."

"Yeah, right." Emily replied, but couldn't help but smile a little. After a moment she added, "I don't even know if JJ wants my help. I mean it's not like we were the best of friends recently." Emily sighed, pain simply oozing from her eyes.

"It was a difficult situation." Garcia tried to stay diplomatic on her statements regarding the issue. "But I know JJ still cares about you and she knows you care about her. I'm sure she she'll be glad you offered to help."

"I don't know." Emily buried her face in her hands for a moment, before looking up at Garcia. "It just feels… weird, you know?"

"Well, considering what you two have been through, there is no wonder." Garcia touched Emily's hand in a comforting gesture. "But I'm sure it will OK. It's just a couple of weeks, right?"

"Right." Emily agreed, but she knew it wasn't going to be OK. She knew it was going to be torture in some ways, but she couldn't just leave JJ on her own in a situation like this, she just couldn't. So if JJ would let her, she was going to be there for her.

"You're a good friend, Emily." Garcia finally told her. "JJ is lucky to have you."

_Yeah, friend_, Emily thought to herself. There was a time, a simpler time, where that was enough. She and JJ had friends, very good friends, but then everything had changed. And for a while it had been wonderful, the best time of her life, but then JJ had decided that she couldn't take this anymore, and everything had gone to hell. And now she was back to being JJ's_ friend_, although she had no idea whatsoever what the hell it meant anymore. And she didn't know if she knew how to be just a friend to JJ. She knew that whatever had once been between the two of them was over, but still, she knew that they would always be more than just friends.

When she saw Rossi and Hotch leaving JJ's room, Emily thought that maybe it was a good time to go and talk to JJ. She knew she was going to have to do it sooner or later, so there was no point in putting it off. She just wasn't sure JJ was up to it.

"How is she?" She asked Hotch, when the two men walked up to her and Garcia.

"She's OK I guess. At least that's what she keeps telling us." Hotch smiled. "But you know JJ, she wouldn't tell us the truth anyway." He laughed. "But she seems to be doing fine."

"I know she'd like to see you." David Rossi finally said and looked at Emily intently. "If _you_ are up to it?" He added.

"I think I can handle that." She replied, although she wasn't so sure she could. But she decided to be strong, because she figured that's what JJ needed her to be.

When she entered JJ's room, JJ had her eyes closed, but opened them as soon as she realized someone else was in the room. She felt a warm feeling in her entire body when she realized that the person was Emily.

"You came back." She whispered with a smile.

"I told you I would." Emily couldn't help but smile back at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, now that you're here." JJ answered, making them both slightly uncomfortable for a moment. "Rossi and Hotch told me about what you wanna do and I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to do this."

"I know I don't." Emily said and for a moment JJ got scared that she was going to change her mind. "But I want to." She added after a while. "I just can't… I can't let you go through all of that on your own."

"It's really not that bad." JJ sent Emily a reassuring smile. "It hurts a little, but that's all. The nerve thing should heal too, with a little bit of physical therapy. There is really no need for you to stay. I can take care of myself." JJ decided to give Emily one last chance to change her mind, although silently praying that she wouldn't.

"Oh I have no doubt that you can." Emily smiled. And she really had no doubt. JJ could do anything she would put her mind to, so Emily knew she probably would have been OK without her. But she just couldn't leave her. "But humor me, OK?"

"OK." JJ smiled weakly and added after a while, "So I guess you're moving in, huh?"

"I guess I am." Emily sighed. This was so not the way she had always thought she would be moving in with JJ, but since the other way was not happening, she would have to be OK with the situation for now.

"My purse is somewhere here, there should be keys to my place. You can take them if you want to take your stuff over there or something."

"No, I can do that when you're released and we're both going." Emily decided. "It's not like I need that much stuff anyway for a week or two."

"Right." JJ suddenly realized that it wasn't like Emily was really moving in or anything. She was just gonna stay there for a couple of days, as a guest. It shouldn't really be a big deal.

"I talked to the doctors earlier," Emily started, "and they say you should be good to go in about 3 to 4 days."

"Yeah, that's what they told me too." She took a deep breath. "I really got lucky I guess."

"Yes, you did." Emily agreed and tried to think of what else she should say to JJ. It was so hard to keep the conversation on a neutral ground, without mentioning what had happened between them or what their true feelings for one another are. But Emily knew she had to keep it that way if she wanted to keep herself from going crazy. She had to be strong and treat JJ as a friend, the same way she had treated her before she had acted on her feelings towards the blonde. It was going to be hard as hell, but she could do it. "OK, I'm gonna let you rest now. We've been bothering you long enough."

"You know you're never a bother, Emily." JJ said, hoping that Emily did indeed know that. But at the same time, JJ could see how hard all of this was being on Emily and didn't want to make it any harder on her. "Tell everyone thanks for coming by, OK?"

"Sure." Emily smiled and headed for the door, but not before turning her head around to look at JJ one last time.

"Emily?" She heard the blonde whisper.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you so much for coming." JJ said and Emily could swear JJ was about to cry. "It's really good to see you. I've missed you."

"It's good to see you too, JJ." Emily replied, consciously not admitting to JJ that despite everything, she had missed her too.

When Emily left, JJ let her tears fall, as she grieved for something she knew she had lost. For something she knew she had given up and was never going to get back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Are you all ready to go?" Emily asked, as she entered JJ's hospital room with her discharge papers in her hand. "There's nothing keeping you here anymore." She smiled gently.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm _so _ready to get out of this room." JJ sighed as she took her purse into her left hand and Emily grabbed JJ's bag and put all the hospital documents in it.

"Let's go then." Emily smiled and JJ stood up. For a moment she got a little dizzy and Emily shot her a concerned look. "Are you sure you don't want the wheelchair?"

"You have asked me that 10 times before, so for the 11th time, no, I do not want a wheelchair." For a moment Emily thought that JJ was going to hit her or something.

"OK, OK. Just checking. I just wouldn't want anything…"

"I'm fine, Emily." JJ assured her. "I really am. Except of course for my arm, which seems to ignore what I want it to do," She laughed, "but I knew it was gonna happen, so that's OK. They took care of me here, you know?"

"I know." Emily almost couldn't believe how overprotective she was being. "I'm just worried, that's all."

"I know you are." JJ said in a soft voice. "But don't be. I hate to see you so sad." JJ added and for a moment they looked at each other in silence, their hearts beating a little faster, both realizing that this was going to be a tough couple of days.

"Everybody says 'hi' by the way." Emily broke the silence. "They wanted to be here, but they have a case in Ohio I think. And Garcia has to be, you know, available."

"Yeah, I heard about that case. By the way, have you met the person they found to do my job when I'm recuperating?"

"No, I haven't. Garcia wanted me to come by and check this new person out, but I…" Emily hesitated for a moment, "I just couldn't."

"Afraid that you might realize how much you miss the job?" JJ asked and Emily was amazed at how easily the blonde could still read her mind. She had always been able to do that.

"Maybe." Emily replied, but they both knew this was precisely the reason why she couldn't take one step into the BAU office.

When they got into the parking lot, they walked up to the car and Emily put JJ's bag into the trunk, next to hers.

"You got a new car?" JJ asked curious, knowing that this clearly wasn't the ride Emily had driven before.

"It's a rental." Emily explained. "I sold my old car when I left, but never felt like I needed to buy another one for, you know, here."

"Oh." JJ nodded and for a moment things got a little uncomfortable again. JJ realized that Emily's stay in the US was really only temporary. Everything from Emily's small bag, to the way the brunette would look at her kept telling JJ that Emily had no intention of staying. And now the car in a way confirmed that. But then again she did know that Emily had never gotten round to getting rid of her apartment.

They got into the car and the first couple of minutes of the drive were done in silence. It felt so strange for them to be in a car together, like they had been so many times before, and to feel this tension between them. Of course they both knew why the tension was there, but they wished it could just go away and that things could go back to the way they were before… everything. JJ was the first one to speak.

"Did I ever tell you thank you for doing this?" She asked, wanting to make sure Emily knew how grateful she was.

"Yes you did." Emily smiled. "And it's no big deal."

"Of course it is a big deal. You're putting your life on hold to do this for me and I really appreciate it."

_It's not like I have a life to put on hold anyway_, Emily thought to herself, but decided that JJ didn't really have to know that particular fact. So Emily just smiled and said, "It's really OK, JJ. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Oh, I forgot to warn you that I have absolutely nothing to eat at home, so maybe we should do some shopping?" JJ suggested.

"Actually I took the liberty of going grocery shopping this morning." Emily grinned. "Should be enough for a couple of days."

"You are a life savior, Emily Prentiss." JJ said with a gentle laugh and she sighed as she thought that she and Emily should have been going grocery shopping under totally different circumstances. Not with Emily being forced into helping her. JJ knew Emily was too good of a person to not help her, but this was so not the way she wanted to be spending time with Emily. Not like this, not with so much history between them, not after she had destroyed the best relationship she had ever had, destroying herself in the process. But she knew there was no going back. She had burned all the bridges and she was going to have to live the rest of her life with that notion.

The drive to JJ's apartment took another 20 minutes, although it seemed much longer to both of them. Being alone in a car like this was making them both anxious and a little uneasy. It was maybe a little harder than they had thought it would be.

"Well, here we are." Emily said as she got out of the car and opened the trunk. She took her and JJ's bags and followed JJ into the building. JJ had managed to take out her key out of her purse and was about to open the door.

"I have to warn you," JJ said before she went into the apartment, "It's a disaster there."

"I think I'll live." Emily smiled as she helped JJ open the door and they went inside. Emily placed the bags in the hallway and went back to the car for the groceries. When she got back inside and went into the living room, she saw JJ trying to carry her bag into her bedroom.

"Freeze right there!" Emily called after her with a chuckle. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking my stuff to my room." JJ replied shooting Emily one of the sweetest smiles, but she knew Emily was not going to be satisfied with that answer.

"And how exactly lifting heavy bags fit into the taking it easy idea?" Emily asked, looking at JJ with a more serious expression on her face.

"OK, feel free to take the bag then." JJ agreed and moved towards the couch. "I'm just gonna stay here and do absolutely nothing." She grinned as she sprawled herself on the couch.

"Which is the way it should be." Emily pointed out. "You just got out of the hospital and my job is to make sure that you don't do anything that is unnecessary or too hard for your condition."

"I'll have you know that my condition is very good." JJ insisted.

"Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Emily laughed and went to the kitchen. A few minutes later she came back to the living room and picked up JJ's bag to take it to JJ's bedroom. When she opened the door and went into the room, her mind became flooded with memories of the times she and JJ had spent in that bedroom. Making love, talking, watching stupid movies on TV, having breakfast in bed… Some of the best moments in Emily's life were confined to the four walls of Jennifer Jareau's bedroom. But she knew those were memories of life past, life that could never be again, and she had to stop doing this to herself. Sometimes she felt like she had agreed to help JJ just to torture herself. After all, what did she expect? That she could just walk into JJ's apartment and not be haunted by memories of all the times she and the blonde had spent together? She would have been stupid if she believed that she could be in that apartment and not hurt, not feel like her heart was being torn out of her chest all over again.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: A couple of angsty chapters still ahead, but bear with me and happier ones will follow too :)

**Chapter 8**

From the moment Emily agreed to help JJ out, she knew that this was going to be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do in her life. Just being in the same room as JJ was killing her inside, but to actually be in JJ's home alone with her was almost unbearable. To be this close to her and to know that everything that had been between the two of them was over was making Emily die little by little. Every minute she spent in that apartment reminded her of the life she always wanted to have with JJ. They had never actually talked about it and Emily now knew that apparently JJ never wanted the same things . Because Emily had wanted a life with JJ and JJ had wanted a life with Will. And even though Will was no longer in the picture, Emily knew that JJ had made her choice then and destroyed her and she had to learn to live without JJ. Which was of course really difficult since she was about to spend all this time living JJ's apartment. It had only been a couple of hours, how was she supposed to take it for days or weeks?

She sighed deeply as she took a seat on JJ's couch. "Crazy, crazy idea…" She muttered to herself, wondering how she was going to bear being this close to JJ and acting as her friend only.

"Did you say something?" Emily heard JJ's voice and almost jumped, hoping JJ hadn't really heard what she said.

"What? No, nothing." She replied quickly, a little nervous, which didn't go unnoticed by JJ, but she decided not to push the issue.

"Listen, I wanted to take a shower to wash the hospital off of me. Is that OK?"

"It's your apartment." Emily replied, a little surprised as to why JJ would need her permission to take a shower.

"I know, but I thought that maybe you wanted to…" JJ explained, becoming more and more nervous. "I don't really know what I thought…" JJ added and Emily noticed that the whole situation was a little uncomfortable for JJ as well. Emily could see it in her eyes. She was struggling to make things work, but Emily knew it wasn't a piece of cake for her either.

"I'm good, feel free to take a shower." Emily answered and a second later it dawned on her why JJ would tell her about wanting to take a shower. _Crap!_ "Do you… Do you need any help?" Emily asked, terrified of what might happen if JJ says 'yes'.

"No, I'll be fine." JJ replied, a little flustered, thoughts of her and Emily in the shower together invading her mind. For a moment the memory became so vivid that she felt her cheeks getting flushed, praying that Emily wouldn't notice. "I learned all the tricks at the hospital." She explained with a smile.

"OK then." Emily agreed and JJ walked away and into the bathroom. Emily buried her face in her hands and sighed deeply again. Why in the world did she agree to do this? She never realized masochism was one of her traits, but apparently it was.

As she tried to calm herself down and figure out how to go about things for the remainder of the evening, she heard a loud thump coming from the bathroom followed by an angry 'Damn it!'

_Oh this cannot be good_, Emily thought as she stood up from the couch and quickly made her way towards the bathroom.

"JJ?" She asked through the door, worried about what might have happened. "Are you OK?"

"I'm just freakin' peachy!" Came the sarcastic reply and Emily couldn't help but laugh. She had always loved when JJ was being sarcastic. And even though Emily couldn't see JJ now, she was sure that her eyes got a little narrower, just like they always did when she was making a sarcastic comment.

"I'm serious, JJ." Emily suddenly came back to reality. "Are you OK there? Do you need me to help you with something?"

"I'm not really sure…" JJ answered and Emily could tell that JJ really did need help, but wasn't too comfortable asking for it.

"OK, I'm coming in." Emily finally decided, scared to death of what she might see inside the bathroom, but knowing that JJ needed some assistance and after all, that was what Emily was there for.

When she entered the bathroom, she saw JJ sitting on the edge of her bath wrapped in a towel with a grimace apparent on her face. Emily could hardly concentrate on anything else but JJ's 'outfit' and the part of JJ's body that the said outfit wasn't really covering, but she tried very hard to focus on the help that JJ needed.

"What happened?" Emily asked concerned, trying to figure out if JJ was in any way hurt.

"Funny thing really." JJ sighed, although it was obvious that it wasn't really that funny. "I tried to grab my shampoo with my right hand and support myself with my left hand, except that I forgot that my left hand isn't really working… So I grabbed the cabinet to stop myself from falling." She laughed and added, "Which obviously didn't work." JJ motioned for Emily to look around the bathroom where some of the contents of her cabinet were scattered.

"Did you hit your head?" Emily asked worried as she noticed JJ touching her forehead as if trying to feel something.

"A little bit." JJ replied, painful grimace still visible on her face. "But I'll be fine."

"Let me see." Emily gently removed JJ's hand from the blonde's forehead and looked at her head carefully to see if there were any signs of injuries. As she gently brushed her hand against JJ's forehead, she thought the felt the blonde shiver, but she figured it was because of the cold. Or at least that's what she chose to tell herself. "Looks like your head will indeed be fine." Emily smiled. "Did you hit anything else?"

"My hip. But it's fine." JJ insisted as she tried to stand up, but as soon as she did she winced.

"Yeah, I can see that." Emily laughed. "Come on, let's get you to the bedroom." She added as she put her arm around JJ. She shivered herself as she felt JJ's naked, still slightly wet body against hers. She had to try really hard to look away and not concentrate on what was underneath the towel that JJ was wearing.

When she finally lead JJ to the bedroom, she made her sit on the bed and took out one of her nightgowns out of the closet. And of course she just had to grab the one that she had seen on JJ so many times before. Why did every single thing in that apartment have to remind her of everything that she and JJ had once shared? Why couldn't she just let it go and move on?

"I'll let you get dressed and let me know if you need anything else, OK?" Emily smiled as she made her way out of the room.

"OK." JJ smiled back as she watched Emily leave. Once the brunette was gone, JJ changed into her nightgown and couldn't help thinking of what would have happened in a situation like this one if it had happened a couple of months ago. Both her and Emily knew that the towel would have been lost somewhere in between the bathroom and the bedroom because painful hip or not, they both knew Emily would never have been able to keep her hands off of JJ and JJ would never have been able to deny Emily that pleasure.

But things were so much different now. Whenever they touched, it was awkward and you could always cut the tension with the knife. There was so much history, so much tears and pain, things they didn't know they would ever be able to get past.

***

When Emily woke up the next morning, she was hoping the worst was already behind her and that she would never have to see JJ almost naked again. She soon realized that things were bound to get even more complicated soon.

She got up, put her robe on and went to the kitchen to make breakfast. It wasn't long until she heard angry groans coming from JJ's bedroom. At first they made her smile, but after a few more seconds she got concerned, so she walked up to the bedroom.

"JJ are you OK?" She asked through the door.

"Not really. I think I need some help." Came the reply. "Can you please come in here for just a second?"

"Sure." Emily opened the door to the bedroom and what she saw made her heart skip at least two beats. JJ was standing wearing her pants, her bra and a half-buttoned shirt. Oh why was God doing this to her?

"I'm sorry, I so didn't want you to have to help me with every little stupid thing, but I seem to keep having trouble remembering my temporary limitations." JJ explained and Emily desperately tried not to look at her breasts, but how could she not. "For some reason I thought that I would be able to make this shirt work with just one hand," JJ continued, "But I took care of three buttons and then it just stopped working and I can't button the rest of the shirt or unbutton the buttons I have already did to take the shirt off and it's driving me crazy!" She exclaimed and Emily could see how frustrating it was for JJ.

"Take it easy." Emily asked. "I'll do it." She offered although she knew that standing any closer to JJ than she already was would just completely crush her. But she took two steps closer towards the blonde, with her heart beating a little faster. She kept as much distance as she could, coming just close enough to be able to reach JJ's shirt. She slowly started buttoning up the shirt, all the while thinking that under 'normal' circumstances she would have ripped that shirt off of the blonde, the rest of the clothing for that matter as well, pushed her on the bed and made her scream her name in ecstasy in a matter of minutes, just like she had done many times before.

Emily knew that it was the slowest she had ever buttoned up a shirt, but she knew that once she's done, she was going to have to take her hands off of JJ's body and being the masochist that she was, she wanted the torture to last as long as possible.

JJ could feel herself trembling as she felt Emily's hands inadvertently brush against her naked stomach and chest. She knew she would never be able to forget this touch. She never had. And now Emily was so close, just inches from her and all JJ wanted to do was to push Emily against that door and kiss her senseless. But she knew she had blew her chance and now all she had left was secret longing and lonely nights, while the love of her life was so damn close, but at the same time so far away.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"So what do you want for dinner?" Emily asked as she started bustling in the kitchen. It was the fourth night she was spending at JJ's apartment and she was surprised how quickly the two had managed to work out some sort of a routine. She would get up before JJ in the morning and make breakfast and then she would drive JJ to physical therapy. She would pick her up two hours later and they would either go shopping or grab a lunch. In the afternoon JJ tended to be busy, because even though she was technically not supposed to work, she couldn't help but go through some of the case files to help the girl who was filling in for her. Everybody kept telling her that she didn't have to do that and that she was supposed to rest, but she would always tell them that she was going crazy not doing anything and that she needed some work. So they didn't argue and just let her bury herself in the work for a few hours a day, if that was supposed to speed up her recovery.

Throughout the day they couldn't avoid incidents like the ones from the first day and they knew it. But they both decided to suck it up and squash their feelings, because they knew that was the only way they would ever be able to get through all of this. The occasional physical contact was almost unbearable, a reminder of something they both thought they had lost, but they knew that forgetting how much they both still loved each other was the only way to make it work.

In the evening Emily would cook dinner and they would eat and then they would watch a movie or just talk. They had gotten to a point where it seemed like they could actually talk to each other about different things without constantly being reminded of their failed relationship. Sometimes it even felt like the old times. Visits from other members of the team made things easier for sure, though, because being alone together in the evening made both of them too nostalgic sometimes, hard as they tried to pretend that things were fine and that they weren't haunted by memories of everything they had shared in that apartment.

"I don't care." JJ replied. "I'll eat whatever you cook."

"Are you sure?" Emily chuckled.

"Positive." JJ smiled. "I trust that you won't poison me?" She joked.

"You're just gonna have to risk it." Emily raised her eyebrows and walked up to the fridge to see what she could possibly make for dinner. Unfortunately after taking a look at the contents of the fridge, she realized that there really wasn't much that she could come up with. "I think I spoke too soon." She laughed. "There's nothing here." She explained. "You're one super hungry patient." Emily added with a laugh.

"Hey, it's not like I'm the only one eating the food, you know?" JJ shot back.

"I guess I'm gonna go to the store to do some shopping." Emily decided as she went into the living room, where JJ was sitting on the couch, and started looking for her car keys.

"I have a better idea." JJ proposed after a while. "It's late, so why don't we order in and we'll go shopping tomorrow? How does that sound?"

"I think I may be persuaded." Emily grinned. "So what are you in the mood for?"

"I don't care. Just order whatever you want."

"Chinese it is." Emily decided as she went back to the kitchen to grab a menu for a great local Chinese place that she knew delivered.

***

It was about 9pm and the two of them were almost done with their food. It turned out that they were actually a lot more hungry that they initially thought.

"Man, you sure eat fast." Emily said laughing, as she looked at JJ's empty container.

"Yeah, I was pretty hungry. Like the time…" She started, but she immediately bit her tongue. What in the world possessed her to want to mention that. She kept silent for a moment, but as she looked at Emily, she knew Emily was already thinking the same thing.

_9 months earlier_

"_Damn, you're fast with your food, Jareau." Emily looked at JJ's empty plate which just a few moments ago was full of spaghetti Bolognese._

"_I was told there was a reward waiting if I eat everything."_

"_Eat." Emily laughed, "Not swallow in one bite." She couldn't stop laughing._

"_What can I say, I was a little impatient." JJ giggled, walked up to Emily sitting on the other side of the table and put her arms around the brunette._

"_A _little _impatient?"_

"_OK, I've been very impatient." JJ admitted. "But have you seen yourself in the mirror today?" JJ asked referring to Emily's outfit, which included a very revealing red top. "You've been driving me crazy all day." JJ placed a hungry kiss on Emily's neck and gently brushed her lips against Emily's ear. Emily knew she wouldn't last much longer, but she decided to tease JJ for a little while. _

"_It's not my fault you have no self-control." Emily pointed out grinning._

"_Oh I'll show you self-control the next time I wear something like that." JJ ran her hand across Emily's stomach in a very teasing motion. "This thing has to go." JJ grabbed the bottom hem of Emily's top, intentionally putting her fingers underneath it so Emily could feel them on her bare skin. _

"_I am eating." Emily tried to insist, but JJ knew that she was just doing this to torture her. And she knew it wouldn't be long until Emily gave in. It was going to take one little move, only one. Sure enough, when Emily felt JJ undo the clasp of her bra, she could no longer pretend that she was interested in the food. _

Emily was terrified at how vividly she remembered JJ's touch on her body, every kiss the two of them shared, every laugh, every smile, every tear… Every case they had worked on together, every girls' night out or team's night out when they would steal glances at each other and kiss when they thought nobody was watching, since they both weren't that huge on PDA. Every time they fell asleep in front of the TV in the living room and would wake up in the middle of the night and argue who was supposed to get up first. Every time they argued about what movie they wanted to see or what type of take out to order. Every time JJ looked at her with eyes that so clearly said 'I love you', or so Emily thought. And every time they comforted each other when things got rough. The happy times mixed with the harder times, but always with hope for the future. Hope that Emily was sure she and JJ had at some point shared. Before JJ had killed that hope for reasons Emily couldn't fully comprehend. It was excruciating how real the memories still felt to her.

Emily looked at JJ and knew that the blonde was thinking about the very same moment that Emily was. Emily was sure this was the moment JJ had wanted to mention before she bit her tongue. The night Emily first told JJ that she loved her and even though JJ couldn't bring herself to say it back, Emily could see in her eyes that she felt it. Or at least that's what she thought then.

"I'm gonna go clean up." Emily finally said when she felt that the tension between her and JJ was just too much to take. She gathered the restaurant boxes and went to the kitchen to throw them away. When she was in the kitchen and sure that JJ couldn't see her, she leaned against the table and then finally sat down, because she felt her legs were going to give out any second. Why did JJ still have such a strong hold off her? Why couldn't the feelings just go away? Why couldn't she just kill them the way JJ had crushed her hope for the future? Emily didn't understand why she couldn't just stop longing for the life and the future she was never going to have. The life she had once been so sure JJ wanted to share with her.

***

The next morning JJ woke up to the sound of Emily making breakfast, just like she had in the last couple of days. But instead of staying in bed, like usual, JJ decided to get up and join Emily in the kitchen. When she walked into the hallway and caught a glimpse of Emily still in her robe, stirring something in a pot, JJ couldn't help but feel how right it felt to have Emily there. To eat meals with her, go shopping, go to the movies, do some work… The way it used to be.

_8 months earlier_

_When JJ entered her apartment she was surprised to hear noises coming from the kitchen and it almost made her reach for her gun, but after a moment she saw Emily's purse lying on the cupboard in the hallway and she almost smiled to herself. She relaxed and made her way to the kitchen._

"_What are you doing?" She asked grinning when she saw the brunette had finally noticed her at the kitchen door._

"_I'm cooking." Emily explained, although she was sure it was pretty obvious._

"_Yeah, I got that." JJ laughed, "But why?" _

"_Well I knew you had a tough day today with some of the media circus from the last case, so I figured I'd something nice to make you feel better." Emily smiled disarmingly._

"_And for that you have broken into my apartment?"_

"_Honey, it's hardly called breaking in when the owner of the apartment has given you keys and told you to use them anytime." Emily replied and looked at JJ meaningfully. _

"_Good point." JJ couldn't help but laugh. _

"_And I know you, so I know you probably haven't eaten anything today." Emily continued, "I also know if I wanted to take you out, you'd tell me that you have no strength whatsoever to go anywhere." JJ had to smile at how well Emily knew her. "Hence my efforts here in the kitchen. The food is almost done, so jus go and do whatever you need to do before you can eat." Emily ordered and smiled at her. She loved bossy Emily. She also loved having Emily in her kitchen._

JJ smiled a bittersweet smile at the memory. God how she wanted a life with Emily, the life she had tasted before and was tasting now. And even though it wasn't exactly the way she wanted, since Emily was just visiting and helping her out, she knew that this was the life she was supposed to have. And this was the life she was never going to have, because she had been too damn scared to go after what she really wanted. And now it was too late. Emily had a new life, without her, and JJ knew she had no right to ask Emily for anything.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"So how is she doing?" Emily asked Tom, JJ's physical therapist, when she came to pick up JJ after her physical therapy. Tom was a handsome young guy, not more than 25 years old, but he seemed to know his stuff, so Emily was confident that JJ was in good hands.

"She's actually doing fantastic." Tom told Emily. "Only two weeks of therapy and she seems to be making a lot of progress. Her muscles are working properly, she's regaining a lot of the motor function in her arm, so it shouldn't be long until she's as good as knew." He stopped for a moment and then continued. "Of course coming back to work in full capacity might be a whole different story, and she'd probably need to go through some additional tests, but she should be able to do all the regular things people do pretty soon." He smiled. "She seems to be well taken care of."

"Well, we try." Emily said, but somehow she had a feeling that Tom might have only meant her. After all, she was the one who usually drove JJ to and from physical therapy, with Garcia filling in once or twice whenever she could. Not that it really mattered who or what Tom really meant. The most important thing was that JJ was making progress in her therapy.

"Hey." Emily heard JJ's voice and saw the blonde coming towards her.

"Ready?"

"Yeah." JJ smiled and the two made her way towards the parking lot.

"So I've been talking to Tom," Emily started, "and I found out how well you're doing in your therapy."

"I seem to be doing OK. My hand feels better." JJ admitted. "I can even move my fingers now." JJ said proudly as she demonstrated.

"Well look at you." Emily grinned. "Congratulations. I think that calls for a celebration."

"What are you proposing?" JJ inquired curious.

"I know it's pretty early, but how about I take you out for a nice lunch in a fancy restaurant?" Emily proposed.

"Sounds like a plan." JJ smiled and they got into the car. And both wished that this could be a real date.

***

When they got back home, it was around 4pm and they were both very content with how their day had gone so far. The lunch had gone really well and they had spent a very nice early afternoon.

"Thank you, Emily." JJ said as they got into the living room.

"For what?" Emily asked, slightly confused.

"For today." JJ smiled. "The lunch and everything. It was very… nice." This wasn't exactly the word she was looking for, but she figured it would have to do.

"Well, like I said, it was a celebration." Emily mirrored JJ's smiled. "Plus I'm glad you're happy with me right now, because I did something that might make me slightly less popular." She admitted hesitantly.

"What?" JJ asked, looking at Emily curiously.

"You have to promise you won't be mad." Emily begged, but JJ only looked at her with a meaningful expression on her face.

"Emily?"

"OK, OK." She sighed and after a moment she revealed her plan, "I invited the team for dinner. I know I should have asked you first, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I'm telling you now in case you hate the idea, so that I have enough time to tell them not to come." Emily said and looked at JJ questioningly.

"No, it's OK." JJ smiled at the thought of people she considered her family. "I haven't seen them for a couple of days, so it will be nice. Thank you."

"I'm glad you don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, Emily." JJ said and realized that the conversation was becoming a little more serious, so she decided to lighten up the mood by asking, "You're cooking of course?" She grinned.

"Of course." Emily sighed with a gentle smile. "Although you're not as helpless as you used to be, aren't you, agent Jareau? Don't forget I have your therapist's phone number, so I will know exactly what progress you're making. Don't think I'll be cooking for you for the rest of my life." Emily meant it as a joke, but she realized this was the farthest thing from a joke. She knew she would gladly cook for JJ for the rest of her life if only things hadn't gotten so messed up between the two of them. JJ was apparently thinking a similar thing, because the expression on her face got a little more serious and she became somewhat withdrawn for a moment. For the umpteenth time, she couldn't stop thinking about how living with Emily, even for those short couple of weeks, had been a dream come true and how much she would give to make that dream a reality.

***

"So we've heard you're doing well in your physical therapy?" Derek asked as the entire team was sat at a table in JJ's living room and enjoying their meal. They were all very happy for JJ and excited that things were going really well for her health-wise.

"Yeah, it's been going OK." JJ admitted. "It's really a nice feeling when your hand start listening to your brain again." JJ laughed as she waved her hand to demonstrate how well the hand was behaving.

"That's just great, JJ. It's really great." Garcia said excitedly. "So when are you coming back to work?"

"That I really don't know, 'cause it's slightly more complicated." JJ sighed, as she really did miss the job and couldn't wait to get back. "But at least I can make myself a sandwich now." She added with a laugh and Garcia couldn't help but laugh as well.

"It's interesting how the simplest things can make us so happy." Reid chimed in and the expression on JJ's face was a clear indication that she indeed agreed with him.

"So how about a little toast?" Garcia finally suggested raising her wine glass.

"What are we drinking to?" JJ asked.

"You, of course, silly." Garcia smiled at her sweetly and turned to the rest of the team. "Let's drink to JJ and her light speed recovery. By the way JJ, you're no longer on pain meds, are you?"

"Thank God no!" JJ grinned as she took her own wine glass and raised it as well. After all, how could she not drink in honor of herself?

"We miss you over at the BAU, JJ." Hotch finally admitted and the rest agreed with him.

"I miss you too guys. And I miss the job."

"Yeah, I heard you've been going through more cases at home to help out than you did when you were actually working." Derek joked. The rest couldn't help but laugh.

"Well like I said, I really miss the job." She chuckled. "But it's gonna take a while until I come back." She sighed and added after a moment. "But feel free to drop in on me anytime. The door's always open."

"Yeah, she's gonna need some company once I'm gone." Emily said suddenly, and JJ realized something she desperately tried to avoid thinking about. She had been pushing those thoughts further and further back into her mind in the last couple of days, but she knew she was going to have to face them eventually. The truth was that she was getting better and she didn't really need anyone to help her out anymore. But she did need Emily. She needed Emily in her life and the thought of Emily leaving and never coming back absolutely terrified her.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: The moment you have all been waiting for is almost here, but I couldn't resist one last cliffhanger before we get to the good stuff :D.

**Chapter 11**

"So when are you leaving?" JJ asked, although she really didn't want to hear an answer to that question. But she knew she had to finally let Emily go. Emily was in the middle of JJ's living room packing her bags. She had a couple more days left, but she wanted to go to her apartment for a while to get some more of her stuff that she had originally left.

"In three days." She answered and looked at JJ. "Unless you need me to stay."

JJ wanted to scream '_YES_', but she couldn't bring herself to do it. "No, I'll be fine." She said with a weak smile. She knew she had run out of excuses to keep Emily in the US – her hand was almost completely healed, she would be coming back to work soon, everything was back to normal. Except that her 'normal' should include Emily. She knew that more than ever and more than ever she hated herself for giving up the best thing that had ever happened to her.

"Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair this afternoon." Emily promised and JJ couldn't even bear to imagine how empty her apartment would be without Emily and her things. She had gotten used to having Emily's belongings here and there in the apartment, Emily's cell phone lying around in the living room, her jacket hanging on the backrest of a chair, her car keys on the coffee table. The way it was supposed to be and the way it would never be again.

"I liked having you around." JJ admitted and studied Emily's face intently. A small smile spread across Emily's face and quickly turned into a grin.

"Yeah, 'cause I cooked for you and cleaned your toilet." Emily looked at JJ, who started laughing, but Emily couldn't help but notice that there was something strange about JJ's eyes. Some sort of sadness that Emily couldn't quite understand at this point.

"You know that's not it." JJ said firmly, hoping that indeed Emily knew that. Even if JJ was unable to tell Emily how she really felt, she was hoping that Emily would at least know that JJ considered her a friend. Someone very special. "You've been a wonderful company, Emily." JJ finally added as she was looking with sad eyes as Emily kept packing and repacking her bag.

"You haven't been that bad, either." Emily winked at her and for a moment JJ thought Emily was going to add something else, but she didn't. JJ's head was spinning. She was trying to figure out whether she should say something, anything, ask Emily to stay, tell her how she really feels, beg her to forgive her… No, she couldn't do that. Emily would never forgive her, not after what she had done.

"Do you need any help packing?" JJ asked and couldn't help but feel that this was ridiculous. She so desperately wanted Emily to stay, yet she was offering to help with the packing. She was hopeless.

"No, I'll be fine." Emily smiled. "I don't have that much stuff anyway. I've only been here a few weeks."

_Few amazing weeks_, JJ thought to herself. Oh how she wished those few weeks could turn into months or years. She wished she could always be with Emily. Always. Why did it take her so long to realize that she loved Emily? Why wasn't she strong enough to fight for this love? Why did she try to be what everyone else told her to be instead of who she really wanted? Things would have been so different if only she hadn't been such a coward.

***

"So Emily's gone?" Garcia asked as she entered JJ's apartment and realized that none of Emily's things were there.

"Yeah." JJ said in a sad tone. "I mean she's still here, but she just wanted to take care of something in her apartment before she left. She's flying out tomorrow."

"And are you OK with that?" Garcia asked as the two of them went into the living room and sat on the couch.

"I have to be." JJ sighed sadly and Garcia could see how not OK JJ really was with Emily leaving. "It's not like I have a choice. I knew she was gonna have to leave sooner or later and that time has come now."

"But you don't want her to go?"

"Of course I don't!" JJ admitted.

"Why?" Garcia asked, but when she looked into JJ's eyes, she knew the answer. "Then you have to tell her."

"I can't." JJ protested. "I can't." She repeated with such sadness in her voice that it made Garcia's stomach tighten. She knew that JJ had screwed some things up with Emily, but she couldn't stand her friend hurting like this. No matter what had happened between JJ and Emily, Garcia could see so much love for Emily in JJ's eyes that she thought it was literally going to make her cry. "It's too late now, Pen. I fucked it up and Emily is never going to forgive me."

"You don't know that!" Garcia insisted. "You never know with those things."

"I know. I mean how could she forgive me after what I've done? I wouldn't be able to forgive if someone did something like that to me."

"Do what you want, JJ, but I'll tell you one thing – you'll never know until you ask her."

JJ sighed deeply as she buried her face in her hands. Was Garcia right? Could she risk everything by telling Emily the truth? Would she destroy whatever relationship she and Emily had managed to form since Emily came back? Or would she finally get everything she now knew she wanted?

***

Emily looked around her living room, where two of her packed bags lay on the floor. She almost couldn't believe that she was finally leaving. She knew it was going to happen someday, but somehow she thought that someday wouldn't come so soon. She had gotten used to living in JJ's guest bedroom and taking her of her. It wasn't the way she imagined living with JJ, but it was something and now she was about to lose it. She was about to leave and never come back and for some reason it scared her even more than it had the last time.

***

JJ stood outside of Emily's apartment, her heart pounding, her hands sweaty, her entire body shivering. She was trying to figure out if she had enough inner strength to do this. She was terrified of what might happen if she told Emily the truth, but she didn't know what she was scared of more – being rejected by the love of her life or spending the rest of her life wondering what might have been.

She felt heavy breaths escaping her chest as she tried to calm her heart, her attempts futile, though, because she couldn't remember the last time she was this nervous. She was sure that if she waited long enough, she was going to faint. Her legs felt like they weren't going to keep her in a vertical position for much longer. Finally, after taking another deep breath and saying a silent prayer, she rang the doorbell. When she heard footsteps on the other side of the door, her heart started beating even faster and for a moment she considered just running away, but before she could make the decision, the door opened and she saw Emily standing at the doorstep. She looked a little tired, from all the packing no doubt, but she was simply stunning. More beautiful than JJ had ever remembered, if that was even possible.

"JJ?" Emily asked totally confused seeing the blonde at her doorstep.

JJ looked at Emily intently and whispered in a very weak voice, because she could hardly get the words out, "I have to tell you something…"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I know you all hate me for the cliffhanger, but since I don't wanna be any meaner than necessary, I decided to post the next chapter really soon :) I hope my efforts will be appreciated, especially that there is yet one more little cliffy at the end of this chapter and I'm bracing myself for your reaction! LOL In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 12**

Emily, not yet realizing the state that JJ was in, was really surprised to see the liaison at her doorstep. "I thought you were gonna come by tomorrow morning to say goodbye?" Emily asked, trying to figure out if she remembered all their arrangements correctly. She let JJ into the apartment and closed the door.

"But I don't wanna do that." JJ answered, but Emily didn't quite get what it was exactly that JJ was saying.

"OK, so you came by to say goodbye now, that's cool. Do you want something to drink?" Emily asked, still oblivious to the real reason JJ was in her apartment.

"No, you don't understand." JJ decided that it was now or never. She had to tell Emily the truth or she was going to lose the nerve. "I don't wanna say goodbye. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever!" JJ said firmly, but Emily still didn't quite seem to get it.

"What?" She asked confused. "Then why are you here?"

"I'm here to beg you to stay." JJ spoke softly, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. She couldn't afford to fall apart just yet, although she knew she couldn't possibly last long, because her head was getting more and more heavy and her heart was acting absolutely crazy.

"What?" Emily repeated her question, still baffled by what the hell JJ meant. Maybe she was just tired, but she couldn't figure out what the hell the blonde wanted.

"Please don't go." She begged, trying very hard to hold back her tears. "Don't go. I want you to stay. I want you to stay with me."

"JJ, are you feeling OK? Is your hand OK? I thought everything was fine with it? I thought you no longer needed me?"

"I don't." JJ replied, but quickly realized what she had just said. "At least not for health reasons. But I do need you, Emily. I need you in my life. I need you so much, because I love you!" She finally shouted out and realized that her eyes were getting teary and she knew she couldn't take it any longer. But there, she said it. Now Emily knew.

"What?" As Emily repeated that very same question for the third time that night, it suddenly hit her what JJ was trying to do. "What the fuck, JJ…"

"I know I have no right to ask you for anything, not after what I did." She continued through tears. "Yet here I am, begging you to please stay and give me another chance. Because I love you and I can't imagine my life without you."

"Just stop, JJ, stop!" Emily begged, because she wasn't ready to hear what JJ was saying. She couldn't listen to it, she couldn't….

"No, I will not stop! I won't! Because I need you to know!" JJ insisted, tears now streaming down her face. "I love you! I know that now. The happiest days of my life were when I was with you and I know that too. And I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it, I wish I could take back what I did, but I can't… I can't…" She paused for a moment, realizing that she was now sobbing. "I know that when you left for the first time, you wanted me to stop you…. You wanted me to tell you that I love you and that I didn't want you to go... You wanted me to fight for us… But I was too busy trying to be what others wanted me to be... I was too scared to fight for us, but I'm not scared anymore. I know that choosing Will over you was the biggest mistake of my life! Because now I know that I love you and I want a life with you… These past couple of weeks reminded me of what I had lost and they showed me what I've been missing. Because that was the life I want." JJ could no longer control the sobs or the shivering, but she decided to tell Emily everything that she felt. "I wanna wake up in the morning in your arms or to hear you taking a shower or making breakfast. I wanna eat dinner with you every night, I wanna cuddle up on the couch and watch stupid movies after a hard day. And when I'm away I wanna know that when I get home, you're gonna be there waiting for me. I want you to take care of me when I'm sick and I wanna take care of you…"

"JJ, please, don't…" Emily's mind was swirling with all the emotions and she was trying to digest everything that JJ was saying. How dare she! How dare she come here after all this time and say all those things. Where was all of that 5 months ago? Where was all that when it really mattered? As if reading Emily's mind, JJ continued her pleas.

"I know I should have said all of that to you then, I know that. And I'm so sorry that I didn't. But I'm saying this to you now. I love you! I'm so in love with you that I can't even begin to comprehend it. So I'm begging you, Emily, please don't go! Please don't leave me! Please tell me that it's not too late. Please tell me that all is not lost. I know I fucked up, I know that, but I swear if you give me another chance, I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you how much I love you."

JJ stopped for a moment desperately trying to catch her breath. She also felt like she no longer had any tears left to cry. Emily looked at JJ, the desperation in her voice, the pleading eyes, trembling shoulders… If only JJ had said all of those things the first time. She wanted to hear those things then more than anything. But now? After everything that had happened? Could JJ really think she could just come in here and apologize and everything would be fine? This was unfair! How could JJ be doing this to her now?

For a moment Emily kept staring at JJ, who was clearly waiting for some sort of reaction from the brunette. Emily's head kept spinning when she thought back to all the wonderful times she had spent with JJ and then to that fateful night when JJ had told her that she was choosing _him _over her. She was so mad! Now maybe even more mad than before.

She took another moment to look at JJ's teary eyes and finally spoke, or shouted to be exact, "You left me!"

"I know." JJ cried.

"You fucking left me for _him_!" JJ wanted to interject again, but Emily wouldn't let her. "You told me that you couldn't be with me, because you were too_ confused_," Emily stressed the last word, "and then you went to sleep in _his_ bed! Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Do you have any idea what it did to me? Imagining you with him, wondering what I did wrong that made you leave…"

"You didn't do anything." JJ sobbed. "I just couldn't…" JJ wanted to say something, but Emily cut her short again.

"You didn't just break my heart, JJ." Emily said, tears welling up in her eyes and her anger slowly turning into hurt and grief. "You broke _me_! You fucking broke me, JJ!" Emily screamed, tears now streaming down her face as well. She wanted so desperately not to lose it, but it was stronger than her. The feelings she had for JJ were simply too much not to fall apart. She had been carrying all of this inside and she finally had to let it all out.

JJ's heart broke when she kept listening to Emily finally tell her how she felt. JJ felt like someone was running a knife through her gut when Emily was talking about how much the blonde had hurt her. And she hated herself for causing Emily this much pain, she absolutely despised herself for that. But there was nothing that she could do now, short of begging Emily for forgiveness.

"I'm so sorry, Emily, I'm so sorry I did this to you. If I could take it all back, I would…"

"But you can't!" Emily quickly interjected. "You can't take it back." Emily repeated and continued her outburst, because she knew if she didn't let it all out now, she would never do it. "When you left, you left me so fucked up that I didn't know which way was up. For a while I managed to keep it together, come to work, do my job, even see you with _him_, but after a while I just couldn't take it. I couldn't take it, JJ! So I left! Because you broke me and every time that I saw you after that, another little piece of me broke! So I had to go! I had to leave or I would have driven myself absolutely crazy." Emily paused for a moment. "And I almost did. But I left and I put myself back together, because I knew I had to if I wanted to move on with my life. And I did… I made a life for myself without you, JJ. Do you really expect me to forgive you now?" Emily asked, but before JJ got a chance to answer, she heard a woman's voice coming from the upstairs part of Emily's apartment.

"Emily, honey, where did you put the fresh towels?"

JJ's heart stopped at the sound of the voice and she only managed to whisper, "No, I guess I don't." before running out of the apartment.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I promised you a new chapter today, so here it is :) Also, I enjoyed reading all of your guesses as to who that woman in Emily's apartment is and I gotta say some of you got it right, hehe :D As always, thank you so much for taking the time to review the story and I hope you enjoy this next installment!

**Chapter 13**

With tears in her eyes and body that no longer felt like her own, JJ ran out of Emily's apartment and her apartment building. When she ran outside, she felt a cold evening chill and raindrops falling into her hair and on her clothes.

When she felt the breath of fresh air, she stopped and started taking deep breaths, almost scared that if she didn't, she was going to run out of oxygen.

Of course Emily would never forgive her. Why would she after everything she had done? Emily had a new life now and it was stupid for JJ to think that Emily's time with her was anything more than an old friend helping out another friend. It was foolish of her to think that it could be a life they could have for real. Emily no longer wanted her, and truth be told, JJ couldn't even blame her.

***

Emily watched JJ run out of the apartment and for a second she considere

d letting her go, just to make her think what she undoubtedly was thinking. To make her see what it's like when the person you're in love with is sleeping with someone else. But what good would it really do? What good would it do to hurt JJ more than she had already been hurt? Because Emily knew that JJ was hurting and desperate and she couldn't hurt her any more just for stupid payback. Plus it scared her what might happen if JJ gets into a car in the condition that she was in. So she ran out of the apartment, hoping that JJ was still in the proximity of the building.

When Emily went outside, she saw JJ standing on the steps of her apartment building. She appeared to be crying, but Emily couldn't really say, because JJ's back was turned towards the entrance to the building. And for the first time that evening, instead of being so damn mad at JJ, Emily just wanted to hold the blonde and never let her go.

"JJ!" Emily shouted and JJ couldn't help but turn around to face the brunette once again. "Wait!"

"No, it's OK, you don't have to explain." JJ whispered through tears.

"You're right, I don't." Emily replied, because she really didn't have to explain anything to JJ, not after the way JJ had left her. But she just couldn't let the blonde think what she did. "But I…"

"No, Emily, don't!" JJ cut her short quickly. "I don't want to know. I have no right to ask for anything. I don't know what in the world possessed me to think that I could just show up and ask you for forgiveness and you'd take me back. It was selfish of me to think that you could still…" JJ paused to take a breath, "that you could still feel something for me. A little piece of what I know you felt when we were together. I'm sorry for thinking that and…"

"Would you just shut up?!" Emily finally shouted at her, because she was tired of the misunderstanding and tired of JJ thinking that she didn't love her anymore.

"What?" JJ asked slightly confused, because she didn't expect Emily to be this harsh with her.

"Just shut up, shut up!" Emily repeated as she took two steps towards the liaison and they were now almost touching. And as Emily tried to come up with the words to explain, she figured there was only one way she could. And with that realization she closed the gap between hers and JJ's lips, because that was the only way she could make it clear to JJ how she felt. JJ's lips were cold and wet from falling rain and salty tears, but Emily still couldn't remember anything tasting this amazing in a long time. She could feel the kiss took JJ's by surprise, but it didn't take the blonde long to reciprocate the kiss with such desperation like she was never gonna kiss Emily ever again. Emily felt JJ's tongue entering her mouth, JJ's hands in her hair, and JJ's chest pressed tightly to hers. The blonde was trembling and Emily could feel more tears coming from her eyes. JJ was almost terrified at how amazing it felt to have Emily's lips on hers. And she didn't care if this was a goodbye kiss or whatever the hell that was, she was gonna kiss Emily like there's no tomorrow, because it had been too long and she wanted something to remember Emily by if Emily indeed decided to tell her to go to hell after the kiss. And a part of Emily had wanted to send JJ away, to tell her that it was too late, that she had hurt her too much for Emily to take her back. And maybe she should have more pride, maybe she should make JJ work for it, but she was too damn weak to resist the blonde. She always had been. Having spent all this time with the liaison, Emily just couldn't wait any longer to make her feelings known. And while things were still messed up and she knew they had a long road ahead, she just needed JJ to know how she felt, because she was tired of pretending that she had no feelings left for her. She had always hated lying and she had never been good at it and not telling JJ the truth just felt so much like lying and Emily couldn't stand that.

When they finally broke apart to breathe, JJ wanted to say something, but Emily crashed her lips onto the blonde's again. And it was in that moment that JJ knew that it wasn't a goodbye kiss. The intensity of the kiss, the way Emily wiped the tears from her cheeks and the way she placed her hand on her neck, JJ knew that the kiss was saying so much more than goodbye. They both could feel the months of separation poured into this one kiss, the kind of kiss that some only read in books about. All the anger, fear, resentment and grief was in that one kiss, yet somehow they both knew this was a kiss of hope and promise. Emily's words soon confirmed that.

"If you think I could ever be happy with anyone else, you're out of your freakin' mind." Emily said when she broke the kiss again to look into JJ's teary eyes. "You destroyed me, JJ. You destroyed me for anyone who would ever try to care about me. Every lips I kissed, every eyes I looked into were just wrong. They were so wrong, because they were not yours." She gently ran her hand across JJ's cheek. "And I love you, you idiot! I fucking love you! Sometimes I hated myself for still loving you so damn much, but there was nothing I could do to stop it, so I just stopped trying." Emily said, tears now welling up in her eyes again.

Even though JJ could sense Emily's love in both of their kisses, to actually hear the words spoken made her weak in the knees. The way Emily was looking at her that very moment, JJ knew she was falling apart. She almost didn't understand how a person can love you so much after you have broken their heart in the worst possible manner. But there was still one thing JJ wanted to know, even though she knew she had no right to ask, or no right to know.

"That woman?" She finally asked, referring to the voice she heard in Emily's apartment.

"JJ…" Emily looked at her as if trying to say 'don't go there.'

"She called you 'honey.'" JJ looked at Emily meaningfully. And she knew how hypocritical she was being, after what she had done do Emily when she chose Will, but she needed to know. And she was sure that Emily had actually had a life when she was in Italy, life that probably included other women, but there was just something about another woman being in Emily's apartment while JJ had finally decided to tell her she loved her. JJ couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand knowing that there was someone in Emily's apartment in the bedroom and that someone wasn't her. She felt like such a fraud, considering that what she had done to Emily was much much worse, but it still almost physically hurt her to think about any other lips kissing Emily's. But Emily almost laughed at the thought of what JJ was suggesting.

"That woman is my mother's friend. She's crashing at my place for a couple of days, because she didn't want to stay at a hotel. And she calls me 'honey', because she has known me since I was five and I called her 'aunt' for a big part of my life." Emily explained and could see JJ breathe a sigh of relief. JJ was so unbelievably cute when she was jealous.

"I'm sorry, Emily, I'm sorry. And I know I have no right to feel this way, but the idea of you and…" JJ tried to get the words out, but was interrupted by Emily's lips on hers. Another warm wave of emotions ran through her entire body. How did she ever think that she could live without those kisses?

"Come on, let's go inside." Emily whispered after the kiss, as she took JJ's hand in hers. Electricity ran through their bodies and they both realized how much they had really missed each other.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

When they got into the apartment, JJ became a little hesitant, because she remembered the woman upstairs.

"You have a guest." JJ said not sure if she should be there. "Maybe I should just go."

"You are not going anywhere." Emily squeezed JJ's hand harder. "My guest will be fine upstairs, and we will have the downstairs all to ourselves." She smiled gently as she led JJ to the couch in the living room. They both sat and for a moment they just sat there holding hands. They were trying to wrap their heads around what had just happened and what it really meant for them.

"So what do we do now?" JJ was the first one to speak, her voice weak, her heart racing.

"Honestly," Emily looked at JJ who nodded lightly, "I have no idea. All I know is that I can't _not_ have you in my life. And I hate you for leaving me for him." Emily spoke slowly and she felt JJ squeeze her hand tight. "But I love you with the very same passion. My feelings for you are so damn strong that I can't even remember the time that I didn't love you." Emily felt JJ's grip on her hand tighten even more and as she looked at the blonde, she saw a couple of tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"But you should want to make me cry." JJ almost cried. "You should wanna hurt me, just like I hurt you."

"It doesn't work that way, JJ." Emily simply said. "And God knows when you left me, I thought about hurting you back. And even tonight, when you thought… whatever you thought about that woman upstairs, I thought about letting you think that." Emily sighed deeply. "But it wouldn't have mattered. It wouldn't have mattered, because I would still love you and it would still hurt like hell to think about you leaving me for him."

"I wish you could know how I hate myself for doing that." JJ looked at Emily with her still teary, tired eyes. "And it didn't really take me long to realize that I had made a mistake. Although mistake seems like a small word for what I did… I think I spent about a month trying to convince myself that I could be happy with Will, but I couldn't. And ever since... ever since I realized who my heart really belonged to and broke up with him, I spent every minute of every day wishing that I could undo what I had done. Not that it matters now, really." She added and for a moment there was silence, until JJ spoke again. "Every day I wondered _If I begged Emily for forgiveness today, would she forgive me? Does she still love me? Does she ever think about me? _But somehow I could never find the strength to ask you those questions." JJ took a deep breath and looked at Emily intently. "Do you think… Do you think you can ever forgive me?"

JJ's pleading eyes made Emily weak. For a moment she studied the blonde's face, until she finally spoke, "I thought about you every freakin' second of every freakin' day. I tried so hard not to, I tried to forget, to erase you from my mind, but I just couldn't… And I hated myself for not being able to hate you, because believe me, I tried. But no matter how much your leaving me for Will hurt, I couldn't stop loving you." Emily finally admitted and JJ's eyes filled with tears again, as she tried to imagine what Emily must have gone through after their break-up. A part of her wanted to say something, but she decided to let Emily continue. "I wanna forgive you, JJ, I really do." Emily told her. "But it's gonna take a lot more than just a declaration of love and…"

"I know." JJ interjected and she really did know. She knew she was gonna have to work really hard to prove herself to Emily, but she was willing to do whatever it took. "And I know it's not going to happen overnight. But I swear to you… I swear that I will spend every single day of my life trying to prove to you that I am worthy of your love. And I promise that I will never get scared and run away from you again. Never." She finished and when Emily looked into her eyes, she knew that the fears JJ used to have were gone and JJ was ready to finally be happy. Really happy. And even after everything that had happened, Emily wanted more than anything to be the one to make JJ happy.

"We'll take things slow this time." Emily whispered.

"OK." JJ agreed and she knew she was going to do anything in her power to make Emily happy.

Another minute or so passed and things finally started to become a little more comfortable. The tension got smaller and the tears had almost dried. For a moment it felt like they were Emily and JJ again, without the drama, without Will, without leaving for Tuscany… Just JJ and Emily, the way it was always supposed to be.

Emily felt JJ tremble, so she gently put her arm around the blonde and pulled her closer. It was then when they finally realized that were both soaking wet. Their clothes were sticking to their bodies and if circumstances were different, they would probably feel it was kind of sexy. But they were scared to admit how much they wanted each other. Months of separation, of missing each other, of desire they only felt for each other. But it was too soon, that's what they kept telling themselves in their minds.

"Can I use the bathroom?" JJ asked as she kept checking how wet her clothes really were.

"Of course." Emily smiled. "I'll get you some towels. And some dry clothes." She added with a small laugh and disappeared into her bedroom. JJ went into the bathroom and she had to sit down on the bath for a moment, because she almost couldn't handle everything that she was feeling for Emily right now. And she wanted Emily so badly and needed her even more, but she knew this wasn't the right time for them. Not to mention the fact that there was someone else in the apartment.

When Emily walked into the bathroom, she had to hold her breath when she saw JJ with half of her blouse buttons undone and her wet hair falling onto her shoulders. And it was then that Emily Prentiss knew that her brain would no longer cooperate with the rest of her body. She wanted JJ and she wanted her now.

The kiss almost scared JJ, Emily's hungry lips on hers were making JJ lose whatever self-control she still had left. When she felt Emily's hands on her bare stomach, undoing the rest of her blouse buttons, her mind got cloudy and she knew that there was nothing that she could do to stop what was inevitably coming. No matter how much she tried to tell herself that this shouldn't be happening, she knew she didn't have enough strength to stop this. Emily had always been able to make her lose control, which was part of the reason she had run, but now all she wanted was to lose control and let the passion overpower her completely.

Emily knew this was a bad idea, she knew it and she knew JJ knew it too. There were still things they needed to talk about, things that needed to be explained. But right now Emily just needed to feel. She longed for JJ's touch, she longed to see that look in the blonde's eyes that Emily knew only she was allowed to see. And yes, JJ had left her for Will, for reasons that were now a little clearer to the brunette, but she was here now and at that moment it's all that matter. JJ was in her bathroom looking more beautiful than ever and Emily couldn't help herself, she just couldn't.

"I thought you wanted to take things slow?" JJ asked in between kisses that Emily was planting on her face, her neck, her arms… For a moment Emily thought that JJ was going to say something, to somehow stop her, but when she felt JJ's hands on her back and heard the blonde's moans of pleasure, Emily knew that JJ wanted this as much as she did.

"It's been six fucking months, I don't think we could be taking it any slower." Emily managed to utter in between her shallow breaths, as JJ's blouse landed on the floor. JJ shivered and her heart started racing as she realized that she was becoming more and more exposed in front of Emily. And even though Emily had seen it all before and JJ wasn't even completely naked, seeing the blonde like this completely took Emily's breath away. She could see the burning desire on every inch of JJ's exposed body and it made her weak in the knees to see how badly JJ wanted her. When she looked into her eyes, Emily realized that she had never seen JJ look at her like this. Yes, she had seen passion, lust and desire and something that might have even been interpreted as love, but she had never seen JJ so ready to give in to her passion with no reservations. And not just her body, because that had never been the problem, but Emily could see that JJ was finally ready to give her that last part of herself that she had kept guarded before. And Emily could see love. Pure and simple. Love that she thought she had lost, love that she thought could never be again, yet there it was in the bluest of eyes.

"I love you." JJ whispered, letting a couple of tears roll on her cheek and almost coming undone the very second she uttered the words. She pressed her almost naked and still wet body onto Emily's and kissed her hard until she was completely out of breath. God she needed this. She needed this so badly. She needed Emily to make her feel the way only Emily could, the way she hadn't felt in such a long time.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I know I'm probably going to disappoint some of you, but since I'm not really good with smut, you're gonna have to rely on your imagination to tell you what happened after the previous chapter and before this one :D I hope you will still enjoy :)

**Chapter 15**

Emily awoke to what seemed like someone crying. It was still the middle of the night and she thought that maybe she was imagining things, but when she opened her eyes and looked at JJ, whose back was turned to her, she realized that the blonde was shivering as small sobs were escaping her lips.

"JJ?" Emily gently touched JJ's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." JJ replied, still sobbing a little, not turning around, but moving a little, so she was now closer to Emily. "I'm fine." She said as she tried to stop the sobs from escaping her lips.

"Yeah, I can see that." Emily said sarcastically. "You know, when you have sex with someone and they end up crying like that, it makes you wonder if you maybe didn't do it right." Emily added, as she pulled JJ closer, wrapping her arm around the blonde.

"Oh God no!" JJ quickly turned around to reassure Emily that it wasn't what it was. "You definitely did it right." JJ grinned through tears.

"Then why are you crying?" Emily asked, becoming more and more concerned. "Do you wish it hadn't happened? Do you think it was a mistake?" Emily asked with her heart racing, knowing that if JJ decided she was _confused _again, she wouldn't be able to take it.

"No, absolutely not!" JJ replied without a second of hesitation as she sat up on the bed, her eyes still a little wet. "_We_ can never be a mistake, Emily. Ever." She assured the brunette.

"Then what is it?" Emily asked sitting up and taking JJ's hand into hers.

"I… " JJ hesitated for a moment, but then continued. "I just forgot how amazing it felt to be with you. How you can make me feel things that he… That no one else could. Because when you look me in the eye, I swear to God you can see my soul. And I don't know how in the world that could be, yet somehow it is. And it scared me the first time around… Being this vulnerable to someone absolutely terrified me." She started explaining and Emily had a slightly hard time suffering through mentioned of Will again, but she knew JJ had to get it out. "That's why I ran. I was overwhelmed by the intensity of what I felt for you and your ability to totally see through me. But I know now that this is the way love is supposed to feel like. Like you're spinning and you don't know how to stop, but you know there is someone who can stop you. Like you're losing yourself, because you can't believe there is someone who can know you so well, better than you know yourself. You are that person for me, Emily, and when I realized today that I had almost you, it just made me so… I couldn't stop the tears."

"It's OK." Emily pulled JJ into a gentle embrace and stroked her hair. "We're going to be OK." Emily said and for the first time in a long time she really did believe that. Things were still complicated and she wasn't sure how exactly to go about mending their lives and her own heart, but she knew that somehow they would be OK.

***

When Emily woke up a couple of hours later, she found JJ safely wrapped in her arms, breathing evenly. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the blonde. Emily knew how hard it must have been for JJ to come to her and confess what she did. How hard it must have been for her to risk everything. Emily realized that even though JJ was the one had done the leaving the first time, it didn't necessarily mean that she wasn't hurting. Because she was and Emily could see that. She could see it last night in JJ's tears and pleading eyes and she could see it now with JJ holding on to her tight even in her sleep. Not wanting to wake JJ up, Emily just lied awake in bed thinking how wonderful it felt to hold JJ in her arms again and how glad she was that JJ had come by the previous night and decided to put everything on the line. Whatever had happened before somehow didn't matter that much now, because waking up with JJ in her bed was all she had ever wanted in life and she had decided that she wasn't going to let her painful memories destroy that perfect moment.

It took another thirty or so minutes before JJ started to stir. When she opened her eyes, she was welcomed by Emily's smile.

"Hey." The brunette kissed her gently, something she had been wanting to do every since she woke up with JJ in her arms.

"Mhhmm, what a nice way to wake up." JJ looked at Emily with such happy eyes that it made Emily's heart skip a beat. "How long have you been awake?"

"A while." Emily admitted.

"You should have woke me up."

"I didn't have the heart to." Emily said stroking JJ's hair. "You looked peaceful."

"I haven't slept this well in a really long time." JJ sighed. "I think I've forgotten what it's like when you are completely at peace with yourself. Feels good. " She smiled. "Like anything is possible. A feeling I totally don't deserve, but I thank God that you…"

She didn't manage to finish, as Emily silenced her with a passionate kiss. "Don't, JJ." The brunette whispered. "Let's not talk about this."

"OK." JJ smiled as she took a deep breath. "What should we talk about then?" She grinned.

"I don't know… How about the fact that since you slept in my bed, you have to make me breakfast?" Emily raised her eyebrows and JJ couldn't help but laugh.

"I think I can handle that. I can make you breakfast every day for the rest of my life if that's what it takes." JJ kissed the top of Emily's head. "But I don't think I can go to the kitchen looking like _this._" she revealed her outfit which consisted of nothing more than panties and Emily's top that she borrowed to sleep in. "I'm sure your mom's friend wouldn't appreciate seeing that."

"Well I happen to think you look simply adorable." Emily planted a gentle kiss on JJ's neck. "And my mom's friend is long gone by now, so feel free to go into the kitchen naked if that's what you want." Emily suggested with a grin.

"I think I will be fine wearing at least something." JJ laughed. "But thank you for the suggestion, I might actually consider it someday." She got out of bed to go to the kitchen.

"Oh so you're assuming there will be a someday, huh?" Emily asked and JJ realized that she didn't really know if she assumed right. She was scared to ask, but the words finally came.

"You are not leaving, right?" She looked at Emily and for a moment she thought her heart was going to jump out of her chest. "This wasn't just a 'Goodbye and have a taste what you're gonna be missing' sex, right?" She asked suddenly terrified.

"Of course not." Emily quickly stood up as well, made her way towards JJ and gently took the blonde's hand in hers. "This was 'I love you, I'm so glad you're in my life again and I wanna work things out' sex." She gave JJ a kiss on the lips. "And no, I am not leaving, silly. After all, if I stay, I will never have to make myself breakfast ever again." Emily grinned as she gave JJ one last kiss before letting go of her hand and seeing her disappear from the room. And she thought that maybe she would get her happy ending after all. It still hurt terribly to think back to the time when JJ had left her for Will and Emily knew the pain wasn't just going to go away overnight. But she also knew that what she finally saw in JJ's eyes was love, something she had never really seen before. And Emily knew that JJ was telling the truth when she said she was no longer confused about her feelings. Because she could tell by the way JJ looked at her and touched her that the blonde was in love with her. And Emily wasn't about to let her pain, pride or resentment prevent her from enjoying that love and loving JJ back. She wasn't about to let anything or anyone stop her from having the future she had always wanted. A future with JJ. And she made a vow to overcome the pain JJ had once caused her, because she knew that a lifetime with the love of her life by her side was definitely worth it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

When Garcia saw Emily Prentiss at the BAU parking lot, her first thought was that something had happened to JJ and her heart skipped a beat. She quickly walked up to the brunette and asked her, "Emily! What are you doing here? I thought you left two days ago. Is something wrong with JJ? Did something happen to her?"

"Garcia, calm down." Emily laughed. "Nothing is wrong with JJ. She is doing great."

"Then why are you here? I thought you were gonna leave after JJ is done with her physical therapy."

"Yeah, well, that's what I thought too." Emily sighed. "But let's just say that circumstances have changed." Emily replied mysteriously, not sure if JJ would want her to volunteer information about their reunion. It's not like it was gonna be a secret for long, but still Emily preferred to be delicate about it. Unfortunately she had forgotten about Garcia's detective skills or intuition, whatever that was that made Garcia always know everything.

"Oh my God, you're back together, aren't you? That's why you didn't leave!" Garcia exclaimed happily. "Please tell me I'm right!" Emily only smiled, but Garcia didn't need any more confirmation. "Oh that is so great. Wonderful!" Garcia kept raving and she really couldn't help feeling so excited for their friends. She had been watching the two of them closely in the last couple of weeks and it was so obvious to her that the two of them were still in love with each other. It brought her a lot of joy to know that they had found their way back to each other. "You must be so happy?" Garcia asked with a huge grin on her face.

"I am." Emily admitted and then added. "We still have some things to work out, but I do have every confidence that we are going to be alright."

"Oh I'm sure you are." Garcia smiled again and looked at her watch. "Man, I gotta go. You're not coming in? And why are you here anyway?"

"I dropped JJ off, because she had some stuff to figure out before she comes back to work. I didn't want to distract her, so I decided to wait for her here. You'll probably run into her at the office. I think she went to talk to Hotch or she'll probably drop by her office too."

"OK, thanks. I really gotta go." Garcia started walking towards the building. Before she went in she turned around towards Emily once again and said. "We miss you here, you know?"

_I miss you too_, Emily thought to herself as she watched Garcia walk into what used to be Emily's work place.

The first person Penelope Garcia ran into at the office was Derek Morgan. He couldn't help but notice the idiotic grin Garcia had on her face.

"Ok, baby girl, spill." He ordered with a smile.

"What?" Garcia didn't seem to know what he was talking about.

"What's with the face?"

"What face?"

"The happy face." He grinned and looked at her meaningfully. "Now spill."

Garcia knew she could never lie to her chocolate god, but before she said anything, she made him promise her something.

"I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone." She said with a more serious expression on her face, but still smiling. "Promise me."

"I promise, I promise. Now what's the big news?"

"Emily and JJ are back together!" Garcia squealed happily, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear her. "Isn't that wonderful?"

"Certainly." Derek smiled. "Took them long enough." He sighed.

"Well, you know, there's a lot of history there. A lot of bad history." Garcia pointed out.

"I know. Hopefully this time everything will turn out better for both of them."

"Of course it will." Garcia insisted. "This time they will make it work and everything will be right with the world again." Garcia smiled and Derek only nodded, showing his agreement.

***

"So how did everything go?" Emily asked as she saw JJ walking towards her at the parking lot.

"Everything went just fine." JJ smiled and placed a quick kiss on Emily's lips. "Actually it went better than fine." She grinned mysteriously and Emily knew that JJ was hiding something, but whatever it was, it had to be something good, because JJ seemed as excited as a little kid on Christmas.

"OK, what did you do?" Emily looked at her meaningfully and even though JJ was very happy, for a moment she hesitated realizing that maybe she shouldn't have done what she did.

"Please don't hate me," She begged and she paused for a moment, "But I talked to Hotch about you. I asked him if there was any chance you could come back to the BAU."

"JJ…"

"I'm sorry, but I've been watching you whenever I talk about the job and I can see how much you miss it. And everybody misses you. They all love you, Em. Which is probably why they haven't hired anyone new so far. They were about to, but I told them that you stayed and Hotch held off on the decision. He hates you for leaving, but he says the job is still yours if you should want it." JJ finished excitedly and watched Emily closely for a reaction. Emily wanted to be mad at JJ for going behind her back, but she just couldn't. She knew the blonde wanted what's best for her and truth be told, getting her job back would indeed be what would make her life complete. "So what do you say?"

"I say I love you." Emily grinned and pulled JJ in for a kiss. "But if you ever talk to Hotch about me behind my back, I'm going to have to kill you." She pointed out.

"I'll remember that." JJ grinned as they made their way to the car. "What about the job?"

"What do you think?" Emily shot JJ a look that didn't require any more questions.

"Good." She smiled and they got into the car.

"So where to now?" Emily, sitting at the driver's seat, asked.

"I don't know." JJ thought for a while and then laughed as something hit her. "You know, this is probably the last time in a really long time that we don't have anywhere to go. Once we go back to work, it will never be like this again."

"No it won't." Emily agreed with a sigh.

"So let's make the most of it." JJ suggested and after a while asked, "How about we go to my place and do absolutely nothing?"

"_Nothing_?" Emily asked grinning and JJ knew exactly what was on her mind.

"Well OK, we can do_ something_." JJ smiled as she leaned in to kiss the brunette. "But you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know." Emily replied, kissing her back. "I just like teasing you."

"What do I have to put up with..." JJ sighed as she gave Emily one last kiss before Emily started the engine.

"Well, if you get tired of me, just say so." Emily joked.

"Never." JJ was sure of that. She could never get tired of Emily Prentiss. And she couldn't comprehend how in the world she could let her go all those months ago. She knew she was going to spend the rest of her life thanking her lucky stars or whatever it was that made Emily give her another chance. And JJ knew things were still complicated and it was going to take Emily a while until she learns how to forgive her, but the most important thing was that Emily was willing to try and JJ had a made a vow to do anything in her power to make sure that Emily knew how much she loved her. Because she did, with every fiber of her being, and things were finally starting to look better for the two of them. Emily was back in her life and back at the BAU and it seemed like a new beginning for them. And this time JJ was sure she wasn't going to screw this up.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Here goes another happy chapter, with some more probably following. It's so weird to be writing all those happy chapters now after so many angsty ones, but there's gotta be some balance in nature, right? :D I hope you enjoy what I still have planned for this story!

**Chapter 17**

Emily groaned as she got into her car, placing a thick stack of files on the passenger seat. She knew that coming back to the BAU was not going to be easy, but she had no idea that it was going to be this painful. There were papers, tons of papers that she had to go through and the idea scared her to death. But she knew it needed to be done if she wanted to be useful to her team and as daunting the task seemed, she was sure she would eventually manage to work everything out.

She sighed deeply as she took one last look at the papers next to her and finally started the engine, thoughts of a hot bath and a comfortable bed invading her mind. She longed for a moment when she would be in the comfort of her apartment.

The drive didn't take long, because it was late and there wasn't much traffic. When Emily got out of the car, she got worried for a moment, because she noticed that the light in her apartment was on, but she soon realized that there actually was one person who could be there and she smiled at the prospect of seeing that person after a hard day at work. Emily knew it had to be Jennifer Jareau in her apartment and the blonde was definitely the only person whose company Emily could stand after the day she had had.

She smiled to herself as she took out the stack of papers she had brought and locked the car. She made her way up the stairs, suddenly feeling a lot better than she did just a couple of minutes ago. She was still tired as hell, but she was looking forward to spending even the shortest amount of time with JJ.

She opened the door to her apartment and made her way to the living room, where JJ was sitting, reading a book. When she heard someone coming into the room, she looked up from her book.

"My my, aren't you comfortable here?" Emily asked grinning and for a moment JJ got scared that maybe she had crossed some sort of a line by coming to Emily's apartment. Especially that Emily had given her the key the first time they were together and JJ didn't know if she was allowed to use it now as well. After all, they were supposed to take things slow. _Damn it_, she thought to herself and wondered why she didn't consider all of that before?

"I'm sorry, Em." She said, suddenly becoming really nervous. "I didn't mean to intrude on you… I just knew that you stayed at work late and I wanted to make your day a little bit better by coming over and making you dinner, which seemed like such a great idea at the time, but I don't even know if you want me here and I'm sorry if I've overstepped, I really didn't mean to…"

"It's OK." Emily smiled. "Finding you in my apartment is definitely the best part of my day." Emily added and she could see the relief on JJ's face. "It's actually really nice to come home to you." She finished and she realized that it really felt amazing to come back home and find JJ there, waiting for her with dinner. It was the kind of life she had always wanted, and maybe she was finally going to have it. Maybe she was finally going to catch a break. And as she looked into JJ's eyes, she knew that things were only going to get better for the two of them.

"I'm glad you think so." JJ grinned as she stood up and walked over to Emily to give her a proper welcome. "Hi." She whispered as she gently touched Emily's lips with hers. The kiss was quick and gentle, but it still made Emily almost lose her balance. JJ's touch had always done that to her.

"Hi." Emily smiled back as she finally placed the stack of papers she was holding on the table.

"Dinner's almost ready, I just need to heat it up." JJ said as she started making her way towards the kitchen. "I didn't know when you were going to get home."

"Thank you." Emily replied and she smiled to herself as JJ disappeared into the kitchen. And as she heard JJ take out the plates out of the cabinet, Emily thought that she could definitely get used to this.

Emily went to the bathroom to freshen up a bit and when she came back to the living room, the table was set and JJ was waiting for her with a huge smile on her face. God she loved that smile, she really did. It always lit up the room and she could never get tired of it. And she knew she wanted to keep seeing that smile for the rest of her life.

"I hope you like tuna casserole?" JJ asked, hoping that Emily's taste hadn't changed.

"You know I do." Emily said as she took her seat at the table. "I really appreciate it, JJ."

"You're absolutely welcome." JJ smiled. "I know how crappy I sometimes feel when I get home from work late and I thought a friendly face and some food will make you feel better. I hope it's working."

"It definitely is." Emily grinned as she finally started eating. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she took the first bite and it didn't take long until her entire portion disappeared from her plate. JJ had to laugh at the speed Emily was eating, but she knew the brunette probably hadn't eaten since morning, so it really wasn't that surprising.

After JJ was done with her food as well, she cleaned up the table and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. When she got back to the living room, Emily was sprawled on the couch, evidently exhausted. JJ sat on the couch next to her and put her arm around her in a comforting gesture.

"Poor baby. Are you OK?" JJ asked concerned as she gently kissed Emily's forehead.

"I will be." Emily sighed. "And I'm a lot better than I thought I would be. Thank you so much for being here."

"There is no place I'd rather be." JJ rested her head on Emily's shoulder. "Do you need anything else? Anything that I can do?"

"You're doing it right now." Emily said as she ran her hand through JJ's hair. "It's wonderful to end the day in your arms. It makes all the other shit a little easier."

"Well that's what I'm here for." JJ gave Emily's hand a gentle squeeze. "I want to make each and every one of your shitty days better."

"Mmm, that would be nice." Emily said in a dreamy voice.

"And I want us to have more moments like this." JJ sighed. "I mean maybe not exactly like this, because I know you feel crappy tonight, but I want to spend my evenings with you. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else, Emily, I really can't. And you have no idea how grateful I am that you have decided to give me another chance. I swear I will not fuck this up this time, Em. I won't. Because I love you and I would rather die than let anyone take you away from me, especially myself."

"I want us to have moments like this too." Emily admitted. "That's all I ever wanted and you know that."

"I do." JJ replied in a sad tone. "You have always made it clear that you wanted us to have something real and I wish I could have seen it back then that _this _was meant to be."

"Well you see it now and it's all that matters." Emily turned her head to look JJ in the eye. Her sight was electrifying and JJ shivered. Words could not even begin to describe how much JJ loved the woman she was now holding in her arms. She slowly leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on Emily's lips.

"I definitely see it now and the only thing I want is a future with you. And for you to forgive me."

"Well then you might just get what you want eventually." Emily grinned as she took JJ's face in her hands. The woman had hurt her more than anyone ever had in her entire life, but as she looked deep into JJ's eyes, she could also see that JJ loved her more than anyone ever had as well. And she was ready to get lost in that love, because more than anything in the world she just wanted to be happy and being loved by JJ made her happy. Coming back to her apartment after a hard day at work and finding JJ there made her happy, it made her content and it made her feel like anything was possible. And she wanted that feeling to last. She didn't want to live in the past, she didn't want to think about JJ in bed with Will, she only wanted to think about JJ in bed with her and about the future that they were going to have.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Another happy chapter for you guys. I need some fluff and fun after all the angst and drama, hehe :D I hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 18**

"I can't believe we have the weekend off!" Emily sighed as she and JJ were sprawled on JJ's couch after coming back from yet another tough case. The prospect of having a free weekend was making them both really happy. Emily's head was now resting on JJ's lap and they were extremely content to be spending another evening together, hopefully followed by a weekend of doing nothing in particular.

"Yeah, me neither." JJ agreed. "I can't remember the last time that happened. Of course you never know with this job, but things are looking pretty good."

"Yes they are." Emily smiled as she found JJ's hand with hers and squeezed it gently.

"Speaking of which…" JJ started a little hesitantly. "Do you have any plans for that extremely unheard of weekend off?"

"Not really. I figured we could just hang out and unwind."

"We could…" JJ grinned mysteriously. "Or we could do something."

"What did you have in mind?" Emily asked curiously, smile spreading across her face.

"Oh I don't know… How about you, me, Atlantic City? Preferably in that nice hotel I just booked this morning…" JJ asked, hoping that Emily would say yes to a little trip. It had been ages since they went away somewhere together for reasons other than work and JJ really hoped the upcoming weekend was going to be a chance for them to do that.

"You did, huh?" Emily smiled, her heart beating faster at the idea of going away with JJ for the weekend.

"Yeah… I needed distraction from going through cases and the idea just came to me, so I booked a room. But if you'd rather just stay here…"

"No, Atlantic City would be fun." Emily smiled. "It's been a while since I played some slots. Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky."

"Well I don't know about slots, but you might just get lucky in other departments." JJ traced her finger along Emily's lips gently.

"Mmmm, that sounds promising." Emily moaned. "Thanks for setting it up."

"You're welcome."

"What would you have done if I had said no?" Emily inquired after a while curiously.

"Oh I don't know. I probably would have tried to convince you."

"And how would you have done that?" Emily asked teasingly.

"Oh I would have thought of something." JJ grinned as she shifted her position on the couch, forcing Emily to remove her head from the blonde's lap and sit up on the couch. Which was exactly what JJ wanted, as she quickly captured Emily's lips with hers in a passionate kiss.

"Yeah, that would have worked." Emily laughed as she laid back on the couch, allowing JJ to fall right on top of her.

"I've been told my negotiating skills are not bad." JJ chuckled, continuing her assault on Emily, planting kisses on her cheeks and her neck and reaching for the hem of her shirt.

_Yes, this would have definitely worked_, Emily thought to herself as she allowed JJ to continue her convincing.

***

"I'm so glad you had this idea." Emily smiled as she and JJ were enjoying a walk alongside the famous Atlantic City boardwalk, holding hands and simply enjoying the sun, the noise of the city and each other's company. "It's been ages since I was last here."

"Yeah, me too." JJ admitted. "And by the way, I know that Ceasar's Palace is such a cliché, but I just couldn't help myself." She explained and she could see Emily grinning.

"Hey, I'm not complaining." The brunette replied.

For a moment they continued their walk in silence until JJ spoke again. "For some weird reason I really like Atlantic City. Maybe because I have fond memories of a trip I took with a bunch of my college friends for spring break one year. I think I was a sophomore . We wanted to go someplace crazy and obviously Las Vegas was not within a driving distance, so we chose Atlantic City. Have I ever told you that story?"

"I don't think you did." Emily answered, still trying to remember if maybe she indeed had some knowledge regarding JJ and Atlantic City. "But the images I have of you on a spring break in Atlantic City…" She started teasingly and she looked at JJ and raised her eyebrows.

"If you are imagining me in a wet T-shirt, stop right now!" JJ said warningly as she gently nudged Emily.

"I was doing no such thing, but damn that's an ever better image than the one I had." Emily grinned and she stole a quick kiss from her girlfriend. "I can see that there is still so much that I have to learn about you, Jennifer Jareau."

"For your information there never was a wet shirt on me." JJ explained calmly, trying really hard not to laugh. "But good times were definitely had." She winked at the brunette. "Not as good as the time I'm having right now though." She smiled and looked at Emily lovingly.

"Are you sure?" Emily asked with a playful expression on her face. "Because if you want, we can get wasted and pick up random guys. Or gals. Whatever."

"If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't have taken you with me, now would I?" JJ grinned and she could see the feigned indignation on Emily's face. She was so adorable.

"Don't even joke about that!" Emily said chuckling.

"About what?" JJ grinned. "Getting wasted and picking up random people? How do you know I don't do that on a regular basis?" She smiled mischievously.

"Now you're just being mean." Emily noted and could see JJ laughing. It felt good to see and hear her laugh. It felt good to be holding her hand and enjoying a nice afternoon in the sun. It felt good for Emily to see the look in JJ's eyes that said she loved her. Emily had no doubt about it. JJ was in love with her and she was committed to make this relationship work and that's really all Emily could ever want.

"What's on your mind?" JJ asked suddenly, noticing that Emily had become a little distance.

"Nothing." Emily smiled. "I was just thinking how happy I am to be here with you, that's all."

"Well I'm glad." JJ smiled back and looked at Emily with those blue eyes that she could never get enough of. Emily absolutely loved the color of JJ's eyes, especially the tone they had when the blonde was really happy. "You might get even happier once we finally try our luck with the slot machines. I always suck at those and lose, but it's a sin to be here and not try at least, right?"

"Definitely." Emily smiled. "We shall conquer the city tonight!"

"That we shall." JJ said happily and looked back at Emily, as she gave the brunette's hand a gentle squeeze. This was definitely going to be a good day. And they really needed it. A weekend away from everything and everyone, a time just for the two of them to be together. After all the drama between them and all the work-related drama, they needed to forget the world, even if just for a short two days.

***

"I cannot believe you won five hundred bucks on a stupid slot machine!" JJ exclaimed as her and Emily stumbled into their hotel room, slightly tipsy after having enjoyed an evening on the town. "All it did for me is eat my five bucks and didn't give me squat. This is so unfair!" JJ pouted.

"What can I say, maybe some people are just born lucky." Emily winked at the blonde and kissed her on the cheek. "To make you feel better, dinner's on me tomorrow." Emily promised with a grin.

"Good to know. " JJ grinned and sighed after a moment. "I can't remember the last time I had so much fun losing money!" She laughed. "Slot machines are ridiculous – people put money in them hoping that they would win, but they never do!"

"You mean _you_ never win." Emily pointed out chuckling as she looked at JJ meaningfully.

"Whatever!" JJ shrugged. "They're still pointless and stupid."

"Yeah well, you wouldn't be saying that if you had walked away with five hundred bucks." Emily raised her eyebrows cockily.

"Well, slot machines aside, I think it was actually a pretty darn awesome evening, don't you think?" Emily asked and could see Emily nodding with a huge smile on her face.

"Definitely." Emily replied.

"I really felt like I was in college again." JJ sighed and chuckled a little. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this free to do whatever she wanted.

"Yeah, and you acted like it too." Emily pointed out with a small pout.

"Oh don't tell me you're still mad about that guy!" JJ burst into laughter and couldn't help but think that a jealous Emily Prentiss was an adorable sight. Not that Emily had any reasons to be jealous really, but JJ could see that the brunette couldn't stop the pouting.

"Mad?" Emily asked, pretending she had no idea what JJ was talking about. "No! Why would I be mad about some horny 20-year-old fondling my girlfriend?"

"Oh my God, Emily, he was _so_ not fondling me!" JJ insisted, unable to control her laughter. "He tripped and his hand accidentally landed on my…" JJ didn't finish, because she could see that Emily was clearly not amused, or at least she was pretending not to be.

"I know…" Emily sighed. She knew JJ would never even looked at anybody else, but still the image of someone else's hands on JJ's breast drove her crazy. "Still, by the way he was looking at you, I could swear he thought he was going to get lucky with you."

"Oh Emily, Emily." JJ pressed her body onto the brunette's, placing her hand on Emily's back. "Do you not know that the only person who could ever get lucky with me is you?" She grinned as she crushed her lips onto Emily's. These were definitely the only lips she would ever want on hers, and the only hands she would ever want touching her like that. The only eyes she wanted to look into in intimate moments like these. Emily's and no one else's.

"Have I already thanked you for this weekend?" Emily finally asked, putting her arms around JJ and kissing her back passionately.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I think you have. " JJ smiled.

"Seriously, I didn't even know I needed a weekend like this until we came here. You really have the best ideas, agent Jareau. And I'm very very grateful you brought me here."

"Well then shut up and show me how grateful you really are." JJ whispered seductively and Emily couldn't think of anything else she'd rather do.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"I hate that you have to go." JJ sighed with discontent as she saw Emily run around the apartment looking for her car keys.

"I know, I hate it too, but I have to be there in the morning to let those stupid maintenance people in." Emily was obviously not happy at the prospect of leaving a very sexy looking Jennifer Jareau all alone and going back to her lonely bed in her apartment. She'd much rather stay with JJ, safely wrapped in the blonde's arms. "I promise I will make it up to you." She declared as she kissed the top of JJ's head.

"Well it's not your fault that your neighbor flooded his apartment." JJ smiled. She really hated to see Emily go, even if it was just for one night. And then a crazy thought appeared in Jennifer Jareau's mind, a thought she knew she should have just kept to herself for the time being, yet she couldn't stop the words from coming out.

"Move in with me." She heard herself say and immediately wanted to take it back, because she knew it was going to scare Emily away. For a moment she thought that maybe Emily didn't hear it, but when the brunette looked at her wide-eyed, JJ knew that Emily indeed had heard what she said. There was no going back now and maybe this was even what she secretly wanted.

"What?" Emily's voice seemed to be one of absolute confusion.

"Please don't hate me for suggesting that." JJ begged. "I know that it's only been a couple of weeks since we got back together and we were supposed to take things slow and all… But you're here almost all the time anyway and then when you have to go, I absolutely hate it and you don't like it either… And I know that it's soon and that you're probably not even…"

JJ didn't manage to finish her thought as she felt Emily's lips on hers. "You're so cute when you're rambling." The brunette said with a grin. "And I would love to move in with you."

"Really?" JJ's eyes lit up and the amount of joy emanating from them almost scared Emily.

"Of course."Emily smiled. And she didn't care if it was too soon or if it's something they should or shouldn't do. She just knew that being with JJ felt right, and she knew it finally felt right for JJ as well, so living together was the next logical step and something Emily definitely wanted. "I can't think of anything better than going to sleep and waking up in your arms every day." She added and she really didn't. These past couple of weeks had definitely been the happiest days of her life and the reason for that was a certain FBI media liaison. Emily knew the two of them were slowly getting better and that this time, no matter what happens, they were in this for the long haul. She knew that and she saw that in JJ's eyes too, which brought her much comfort, especially considering how JJ had freaked out the first time they had gotten together. But this time was different. JJ loved her and Emily could see that.

"OK then, it's settled." JJ couldn't stop grinning. She felt like a little kid who had just gotten their dream toy for birthday. "We're moving in."

"I guess so." Emily smiled and gave JJ another kiss. "But now I really gotta go. I'll see you at the office tomorrow?"

"Most likely." JJ replied and walked Emily to the door. "We'll talk details."

"Bye." Emily walked out of the apartment, but turned around when she heard JJ calling her name. "Yeah?"

"I love you." JJ told her and a smile spread across Emily's face, because she could never get tired of hearing that.

"I love you too." She responded and disappeared in the elevator. JJ came back to the apartment and closed the door. Happiness overwhelmed her and she thought that she would never understand how the world works, because she had no idea how she deserved any of this after what she had done to Emily. She thanked God or lucky stars or whoever else was responsible for things turning out the way they did. She was sitting on top of the world and she had Emily Prentiss with her. Life was perfect.

***

"I never knew I had this much stuff." Emily laughed as she looked at the boxes scattered around the living room in JJ's apartment.

"Me neither." JJ grinned.

"Are you sure you still want me to move in?" Emily asked sending JJ a meaningful questioning look.

"I think I will be fine." She replied laughing.

"Maybe you will." Emily pointed out. "Will your apartment?"

"The apartment will be fine." JJ assured her. "Oh and by the way, it's not _my_ apartment anymore, it's _ours_." She stressed the last word to make sure Emily understood.

"I'll remember that." Emily smiled as she started opening some of the boxes to see what was in them and what she was supposed to put where.

"I've already made space for your clothes in the closet." JJ explained. "And trust me, it wasn't easy." She laughed. "But I love you, so I'll learn to live with the sacrifice."

Emily grinned. "Yeah, I know it must have been really tough for you. What will you ever do with only half the space for your clothes?"

"Who said anything about half?" JJ raised her eyebrows and Emily couldn't help but laugh. And notice how absolutely beautiful JJ looked when she was this happy.

"OK, OK, I get it." She sighed. "I'll be lucky if I get a shelf."

"Don't worry, you'll get a lot more than that." JJ promised and she walked up to Emily to give her a kiss. "I'm so happy we're doing this." She looked the brunette in the eyes and gently stroked her hair.

"Me too." Emily agreed and she was more sure than ever that this was exactly the way her life was supposed to go. If there was anything in her life that she could change at this point, she wasn't even sure that she would. Her life was just perfect. "Me too." She repeated as she kissed JJ passionately. She ran her hand up JJ's blouse and the blonde moaned with pleasure.

"I thought were supposed to unpack your stuff." JJ managed to say in between moans as she felt Emily's hands roaming all over her body.

"_That _can wait." Emily grinned as she started undoing JJ's belt buckle. "_This_ can't." She pointed out and the two started making their way towards the couch, losing precious pieces of clothing along the way. "I think it's time to give you a little reward for all the sacrifices that you're making for me." Emily said, breathing heavily, as she gently pushed half-naked JJ onto the couch and started showering her with kisses.

"Yes, many, many sacrifices." JJ breathed out and as she felt Emily's hand on her thighs, she knew that every single one of those sacrifices was going to be worth it.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Alright, there are only a few chapters left of this story. I still have one little obstacle planned and one important event, but other than that I have used up all of my ideas for this story, so I will slowly be bringing it to an end. I hope you'll hang in there for the last couple of chapters! :)

**Chapter 20**

"So how do you guys like living together?" Garcia asked as she sprawled herself on the couch at JJ and Emily's apartment. Her and Derek had decided to pay the girls the first visit ever since the two of them had moved in. Derek and Garcia were now sitting on the couch while Emily and JJ sat on the floor leaning against the coffee table, a spot that for some reason became one of their favorite in the apartment.

"It's going great." Emily said and for a moment made a funny face that JJ couldn't really identify. "Except that she snores."

"I do not!" JJ elbowed her and pretended to be offended.

"Yes you do, honey!" Emily insisted and turned to Garcia and Derek. "She does. But she more than makes up for it _before _we fall asleep." Emily said grinning and JJ hit her again.

"I think that's a little more information than they need, don't you think, honey?" JJ looked at Emily with a sweet smile on her face.

"Oh no no!" Derek protested. "Please elaborate!" He grinned and turned to Emily. "Whatever _do_ you do before you fall asleep?"

"You pig!" Garcia said laughing and hit him on the head.

"What? She started it!" Derek shot back pointing at Emily.

"I'm afraid we're gonna leave all that to your imagination." JJ looked at the man meaningfully. "Just don't start imagining until you leave." She asked with a grin.

"OK, OK, I'm shutting up." He gave up and placed his hands in front of his face in a defensive manner. "Just please don't hit me." He begged and the three women laughed.

"But seriously," Emily finally started, "It has been working out well. We've been having fun, haven't we?" She looked at JJ with a smile.

"That we have." JJ agreed. "Plus, now I have someone to help with the cooking and cleaning." She grinned and Derek and Garcia laughed. They looked at their friends and couldn't help feeling really happy that Emily and JJ had found their way back to each other.

***

"Emily?" Emily heard JJ's voice coming from somewhere in the hallway. JJ had just come back home from doing shopping. "Can you give me a hand?"

"Sure." Emily shouted from the living room and made her way to the hall to help JJ carry the groceries into the kitchen. When they put everything on the table, Emily noticed a weird expression on JJ's face. Something was clearly bothering her.

"Emily…" JJ started, but she didn't quite know how to say what she was about to say. _Emily was so not going to like it_, she thought to herself.

"What is it?" Emily asked, suddenly a little more concerned about JJ.

"I talked to my mom on the phone." JJ explained as she made her way to the living room and Emily followed her. "She wants to come visit over the weekend and I couldn't say no to her." JJ admitted and waited for Emily's reaction.

"Let me guess? You haven't told her about me moving in and you need me gone over the weekend?" Emily said half joking, but the truth was she was a little scared that it might be the case.

"No, Emily, of course not!" JJ couldn't believe Emily would even joke about this. "My mom knows all about you moving in. I just wanted to warn you about her coming for a visit."

"Oh." Emily was a little relieved, although the idea of spending the weekend with Mrs. Jareau scared the crap out of her. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. She decided to share her fears with JJ, "Maybe it would still be better if I'm not here." She wondered. "I don't think your mother is a fan of mine."

"How do you know? You've never even talked to her!" JJ protested, but when she looked at Emily, she noticed that something was wrong. "Emily? What is it?"

"Well…" Emily started and took a deep breath before she continued. "There was this one time."

"What time? When?"

_6 months earlier_

_Emily was still asleep when she heard her cell phone ringing. For a moment she thought that maybe it was all in her head, but when the noise wouldn't stop, she realized that her phone was indeed ringing._

"_Hello?" She answered, still a little out of it._

"_Is this agent Prentiss?" She heard a woman's voice on the other end of the line._

"_Yes, this is her." Emily answered sleepily. _

"_I want you to leave my daughter alone!" Emily heard the other woman say and she kept trying to figure out whether she should recognize the voice. But she couldn't really place it anywhere._

"_Who is this?" She finally asked, realizing that if she doesn't know that, there is a chance that the entire conversation wasn't going to make sense._

"_This is Jennifer's mother." The woman finally explained and everything started becoming more and more clear to Emily. "And I want you to leave my daughter alone. She has a nice man in her life and she is happy and I don't want you poisoning her mind with this… this lesbian nonsense!" Emily could tell that the woman was very nervous._

"_Mrs. Jareau, I…" Emily wanted to say something, but Mrs. Jareau wouldn't let her. _

"_Please just leave her alone and let her be." Was the last thing Emily heard before the call disconnected._

JJ looked at Emily with horror in her eyes. She could not believe her mother had done that. It was bad enough that JJ had hurt Emily with her indecisiveness and fear, but to learn that her mother had tormented Emily made her so mad. And it made her feel so bad for Emily.

"I had no idea." JJ whispered. "I'm so sorry, Emily. I had no idea." She took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I don't even know how my mom knew about you. I never really told her. Not in so many words…"

"It doesn't really matter now, JJ." Emily said softly.

"Yes it does!" JJ was adamant. "And she should never have done what she did!"

"Well, she was worried about you. She thought I was poisoning your mind." Emily sighed as she recalled her conversation with JJ's mother.

"I'm gonna kill her!" JJ was really angry now, but she realized that none of that would have happened if she had fought for Emily from the get go, instead of trying to repress her feelings for the brunette. She looked at her girlfriend and repeated once again, "I'm sorry. I know this was partly my fault and I will never forgive myself for causing you this much pain." Emily could see JJ's eyes getting a little wet as the blonde became more and more emotional.

"Hey." Emily quickly put her arm around JJ. "Don't beat yourself up over this. It's OK now." She said in a soothing voice as she pulled JJ closer to her.

"No it's not," JJ still couldn't believe the conversation Emily had had with her mother, "but thank you for saying that." She smiled gently and added after a moment, "I understand if you don't wish to see my mom this weekend. I can tell her that you're on a case or something." JJ suggested in case Emily wanted to avoid meeting Mrs. Jareau.

"No." Emily protested. "She is your mother and no matter what she thinks about me, I cannot avoid her forever." Emily assured her, but after a moment she asked, "Unless for some reason you don't want me to meet your mother?" She looked at JJ with a questioning expression on her face.

"Of course I want you to meet her. But only if you feel comfortable doing it."

"I think I'll be fine." Emily smiled. "It's not like she's gonna shoot me, right?" Emily joked, but after a moment she looked at JJ with a more serious expression. "Is she?" Emily asked and JJ chuckled.

"I don't think we have to worry about that." JJ replied and looked at Emily with affection. "Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm sure." Emily answered. "You know I would do anything for you, Jennifer Jareau." She squeezed the blonde's hand and kissed her gently on the lips.

"I love you." JJ whispered, because the emotions she saw in Emily's eyes almost made her lose her voice. "I love you so much."

"Well then you might just be in luck, because I happen to love you too." Emily softly stroked JJ's face. "More than you will ever know."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Emily almost froze when she heard the doorbell. This was it. There was no way she could run now.

_This is not gonna be pretty_, she thought as she saw JJ getting up and going to get the door. JJ managed to mouth 'I love you' towards Emily before she opened the door.

"Jennifer." Emily heard a voice that she only heard once before and soon she saw a woman the voice belonged to. Now she knew where JJ had gotten her good looks from. Mrs. Jareau was definitely a very beautiful woman, despite being over fifty years of age. Her smile seemed gentle and warm when she hugged her daughter.

"Hi mom." JJ smiled as she let her mother inside the apartment. Emily figured that it was time she made her presence known, so she stood up and walked up to JJ and her mom.

"Emily Prentiss I assume?" Mrs. Jareau suddenly turned to Emily and when Emily felt her eyes on her, she felt like the air around her was starting to lack oxygen.

"Yes, ma'am." She answered as she extended her hand. "Nice to meet you and welcome." She added after a moment as she felt Mrs. Jareau's hand shaking hers. She took it as a good sigh that JJ's mother didn't refuse to talk to her or touch her.

"Thank you." Mrs. Jareau smiled. "And thank you for having me."

"It's our pleasure." Emily said, still extremely nervous and not sure what to say or how to behave around JJ's mother. There was definitely some tension and Emily prayed to God that things loosen up a bit before the evening ends, or she was going to drive herself insane.

"I'm really glad you came, mom." JJ said as she took her mom's bag and lead her to the living room. Emily followed them. JJ and her mom sat on the couch and Emily decided to keep her distance, so she chose a chair.

"Well, what was I supposed to do when you refuse to come home?" Mrs. Jareau asked looking at JJ with reproach.

"Mom, you know I don't _refuse_ to come home, I just…"

"I know, I know," Mrs Jareau sighed, "you have _work_."

"Mom, please." JJ looked at her mother meaningfully. She really was not in the mood for another lecture.

"OK, I'm not saying another word." Mrs. Jareau agreed. "I didn't come here to argue with you. I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter."

"I know. And I really am happy that you're here. It's been a while."

Emily watched mother and daughter talk and she was a little bit relieved that the two women were engaged in a conversation and she didn't really have to participate all that much. After a while she remembered that they had this huge dinner planned, so she proposed. "How about the two of you catch up and I'll take care of the food? There are still some things to prepare before we can serve it."

"Oh you didn't have to." Mrs. Jareau insisted.

"Of course we did." Emily smiled and went into the kitchen. She sighed deeply as she leaned against the kitchen counter. Things were not as bad as she had thought they would be, but she was still feeling extremely uncomfortable in Mrs. Jareau's presence. And she knew that JJ's mother wasn't completely fine with her either, but at least she was polite and didn't try to kill her.

The rest of the evening went pretty smoothly, despite of the obvious tension between Emily and Mrs. Jareau. The three women ate dinner, JJ and her mom managed to catch up a little bit, Emily and JJ told the older woman a little bit about their job, they watched some pictures. Things weren't half bad and when JJ would steal a glance at Emily, she could see that maybe the whole visit wasn't going to be such a painful experience.

Now the ladies were enjoying a bottle of wine after dinner, still making small talk and trying to be nice to each other, but Emily had a feeling that the subject she was so scared of was going to come up sooner or later. She just didn't know when.

Suddenly JJ's phone rang and when she looked at the number, she turned to Emily and her mom with an apologetic look, "I'm sorry, I have to take this." She answered the phone. "Jareau here… Yes… I gave them to him yesterday… No I did not… Right now? … OK, I'll call you back in fifteen minutes with the information." She hang up the phone and looked at her mom and Emily even more apologetically than before. "I'm sorry, I have to go through some files. I'll be as quick as I can." She said and disappeared from the living room. Emily looked around the room in slight panic before she finally looked at Mrs. Jareau. This was the moment she had been dreading and she had no idea what she was supposed to expect. She was waiting for another 'Stay away from my daughter' speech or a rant about how the lesbians are taking over the world. For a moment there was a complete silence in the room and you could cut the tension with a knife. Finally, Mrs. Jareau spoke.

"I'm kind of glad Jennifer is busy, because it will give us a chance to talk." She said and Emily's body tensed.

_Here it goes_, Emily took a deep breath and had to keep herself from saying that she really wasn't that glad at all.

"Yeah." Was all she managed to say as she felt Mrs. Jareau's eyes on her.

"I…" The older woman started and Emily could see that she was struggling with what she wanted to say. "I wanted to apologize." She finally said and Emily's eyes widened. Did she hear it right? Did JJ's mother just tell her that she wanted to apologize to her? Before she could react, Mrs. Jareau continued. "I am sorry for the way I spoke to you that one time we talked."

"Mrs. Jareau…" Emily tried to tell her apologies are not necessary, but the older woman wouldn't let her speak.

"I had no right to interfere with yours and Jennifer's lives, let alone speak to you in the manner that I did." She admitted and Emily could see how hard it was for JJ's mother to have this conversation with her.

"Forget about it." Emily suggested and she really wished they could just ignore that little conversation that they had had a couple of months before.

"I can't, Emily." Mrs. Jareau said and it was obvious that she felt really bad for the way she had talked to Emily in that phone conversation. "You have to understand where I was coming from." She added and looked at Emily to make sure that she was willing to listen. "All my life all I ever wanted for JJ was to find someone who would love her, someone who would look at her the way that you do." Emily smiled as she realized that her feelings for JJ were so obvious. "For some reason I always thought that this someone would be a man," Mrs. Jareau continued, "and the thought of it being a woman just felt wrong to me." Mrs. Jareau saw the expression on Emily's face, so she quickly added. "Don't worry, I'm not here to talk to you about gays and lesbians or any of that stuff. But I do admit that I freaked out when Jennifer told me that she might have romantic feelings for someone called Emily. And so I pushed her into the arms of that detective, because I thought that was what she needed to be happy. I thought that what she needed was to forget all about you and have a _normal _relationship." Mrs. Jareau took a deep breath. "Now I see that I was wrong, because it didn't make her happy, it made her miserable."

"It didn't make me too happy either." Emily admitted sadly.

"I can only imagine." Mrs. Jareau sighed. "Look, I just wanted to tell you that I've been here like five minutes and I see the way you look at my daughter. And trust me, when she talks about you, her voice changes and her eyes light up and I know that my daughter has never been happier in her life. Which was all I ever wanted for her, to be happy. And if you're the reason for that happiness, I can only thank you." Mrs. Jareau finally finished and Emily saw that she was becoming more and more emotional.

"Mrs. Jareau," Emily finally started, "I know that I may not be what you have imagined for JJ, but I swear to you I love your daughter, very much, and I would rather die than hurt her or let anything happen to her." She said and she had never meant anything in her life more than she meant those words.

"I know." Mrs. Jareau smiled. "I can see that in your eyes. And believe me, Jennifer feels the same for you. She's happy, you make her happy. That's all a mother could want for their child." Mrs. Jareau, now a little teary-eyed, covered Emily's hand with hers. "You take care of her."

"I will." Emily promised, feeling her own tears welling up in her eyes. It meant the world to her that JJ's mother was willing to give the two of them a chance and she knew it had cost her a lot to apologize and be so honest with her. She was happy for herself, and most of all for JJ, because she knew how much JJ loves her mother and she would hate for the two of them to argue because of her.

For a moment Emily and Mrs. Jareau sat in complete silence until Emily finally spoke.

"How about some more wine?" She offered as she remembered that there was still some left.

"I'd love to." Mrs. Jareau smiled and looked carefully at her daughter's girlfriend. And she felt that maybe it didn't matter what people thought, because something that made her baby girl so happy couldn't possibly be wrong.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

When JJ came back to the living room, she noticed that Emily's and her mom's wine glasses were now half full and her first thought was that the two needed to be intoxicated in order to stand each other. But then again they hadn't killed each other, so maybe things weren't that bad.

"What took you so long?" Emily asked, but JJ noticed there was no nervousness about her or no 'I'm gonna kill you for leaving me with her' look. Things seemed to be calm and it surprised JJ a little, but certainly she was not about to complain.

"I'm sorry. I left some files for Hotch, but he couldn't find them, so I had to go over some stuff with him. Sorry about that." She said to Emily and her mother.

"That's OK." Mrs. Jareau said. "We did just fine, didn't we Emily?" She sent a small towards Emily.

"We sure did." Emily agreed and JJ was truly astonished by the way her mother and her girlfriend were talking to each other.

"Well, it's getting late," Mrs. Jareau finally said as she stood up, "I think I'm going to turn in. I hope that's OK with you girls."

"Of course, mom. You know where I keep the towels, right?"

"Yes I do, thank you." Mrs. Jareau left the living room, but not before she turned around and said, "You two have a nice night and I will see you in the morning."

"Goodnight." Emily answered and as soon as Mrs. Jareau disappeared, JJ shot Emily a questioning look. Something was definitely up and she knew it.

"What?" Emily didn't seem to understand what the look was about.

"What the hell was that?" JJ asked, sitting on the chair opposite to Emily's.

"What the hell was what?"

"You and my mother." JJ explained, still a little surprised by what she had witnessed.

"What about me and your mother? Your mother and I are fine."

"Exactly." JJ laughed. "What the hell happened between the two of you while I was gone? I was expecting screaming and shouting."

"Honestly, so did I." Emily grinned. "But she apologized."

"Apologized?" JJ asked curious about what Emily and her mother had talked about.

"Yeah. For that phone call that I told you about." Emily paused for a moment. "Let's just say that she is no longer as opposed to the idea of us dating as I thought she would be."

"Really?" JJ inquired with a smile spreading across her face.

"Really." Emily confirmed and added, "Besides, we learned that we have one very important thing in common."

"Which is?" JJ asked impatiently.

Emily smiled as she stood up, walked a step to JJ's chair and sat on the blonde's laps. "We both want to see you happy." Emily said planting a kiss on JJ's forehead.

"I am happy." JJ said with conviction. "I've never been happier in my whole entire life." She added as she put her arms around Emily. "I can only hope that I make you at least half as happy as you make me. After all, I did promise you that I would spend the rest of my life proving to you that you didn't make a mistake by taking me back and making you happy is my new mission in life." JJ said resting her head on Emily's arm and intertwining her fingers with Emily's.

"Well, I gotta say you are doing pretty well on your mission." Emily grinned as she brought JJ's hand to her mouth and kissed it. "And I love you."

"I love you too." JJ replied and for a moment her heart started beating faster when she thought about what she had almost lost. She couldn't comprehend how in the world she could choose that loser Will over Emily those months ago. But after a moment she realized that she couldn't keep doing this to herself for the rest of her life. Because Emily was here, in her arms, in their apartment, and there was nothing in the world that mattered more.

***

"I never thought I would say it in a million years, but I kind of miss having your mom around." Emily said with a laugh as she and JJ cuddled on the couch a couple of days after Mrs. Jareau went back to Pennsylvania.

"She wasn't half bad, was she?" JJ said, relaxing into Emily's arms and happy that her mother's visit turned out a lot better than she had expected.

"No, she wasn't. " Emily sighed. "To be honest, I was terrified that she was gonna try and _fix_ you." She looked at JJ with a meaningful expression on her face.

"Well, you know I would never let her_ fix_ me or whatever, right? You have to know that by now." JJ said with affection, making sure that Emily knew how invested she was in this relationship.

"Of course I know." Emily smiled. "But still…"

"I know." JJ sighed and turned her head to give Emily a proper kiss on the lips. "She's coming around though."

"Yeah." Emily kissed her back and JJ nestled herself into Emily's arms. And that's when it hit her. This was the perfect moment she had been waiting for to do something she knew was going to change her life forever. So she excused herself for a moment and disappeared for a minute and when she came back, she was holding something in her hand. Emily looked at the little object and held her breath… Could it be? _No_, she told herself. Her mind must be playing tricks with her. There is no way JJ would…

"Emily…" JJ started, her heart pounding, her entire body shaking at the thought of what she was about to do. It was soon, maybe it was too soon, she didn't know, all she knew was that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Emily and prayed to God that Emily felt the same way. "Ever since that night when I begged you to stay, I have tried my best to show you how much you mean to me and how much I love you. I can only hope that I have succeeded…" JJ stopped for a moment as she took a deep breath. Emily's head was spinning with the prospect of what she thought JJ was about to do. Could this really be happening or was it just wishful thinking. Was she imagining things? Her heart started racing as she continued to listen to JJ's speech. "And I want to spend the rest of my life making up for all my mistakes and most of all, making you happy. If you let me…" With that JJ revealed a small velvet box that she'd been holding in her hand and Emily knew she wasn't imagining things. JJ was really doing this, she was really proposing. She looked at the blonde, small tears in her eyes, her hand holding the box extended towards the brunette.

_Oh crap_, Emily felt her own heart pounding and her hands getting sweaty as she saw the woman she loved kneel in front of her and open the box to reveal a diamond ring.

"Emily Prentiss, will you marry me?" Emily heard the words and if she wasn't already sitting, she was sure she would have fallen down. Her legs would for sure have given out with the intensity of emotions flowing around her entire body. Jennifer Jareau had just ask her to marry her. Jennifer Jareau, the woman she loved more than life itself, was on her knees ready to make Emily her wife. She couldn't breathe, she could swear she was about to hyperventilate. This was really happening.

JJ looked at Emily waiting for a reaction, but when she saw none, she got terrified that she had made a mistake.

"I know it's soon Emily and I know that maybe we haven't worked everything out yet, but I swear to you that I'm 100% sure that I love you and want to be with you forever. And I don't care what we have to do or where we have to go to make it legal, all I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you as my wife. But if you think it's…"

"Yes!" Emily finally managed to say, but it came out as a weak whisper, because she was still out of breath and her heart was doing crazy things.

"Yes?" JJ asked, praying to God that she had heard right and it wasn't all in her head.

"YES!" Emily repeated, this time with more strength in her voice. "God yes!" She said once again and this time JJ was sure that she had heard it right. Emily had said yes. Emily Prentiss had just agreed to become her wife.

Total and absolute happiness overtook JJ's body as she looked at the beautiful woman on the couch. Her heart skipped a beat when she finally reached out to take Emily hand in hers. "Let me make it official." JJ smiled as she placed the ring on Emily's finger. For a while they just looked at each other, overwhelmed by the importance of the moment and of what that moment meant for both of them.

"God I love you." Emily finally spoke as she pulled JJ up and when JJ's head was on the same level as hers, she crashed her lips against JJ's. The kiss was full of love, passion and desire, but most of all full of hope for the future, the future they were supposed to share together. Emily felt her eyes now fill with tears and she could feel JJ's tears as well as she touched the blonde's face with her hands. "Nothing will make me happier than becoming your wife." Emily added and she could feel JJ deepen the kiss, and soon JJ was on top of Emily, showering her with kisses that were a promise of everything that still awaited them.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Well, that's it folks! The last chapter of my story is here :) It has been an amazing journey and I wanted to thank each and every one of you who took the time to review my story in the last two months. It really has been a tremendous help to read your thoughts! I hope you enjoy this last chapter and I hope you will hang in there with me as I try to share more stories in the future :D

**Chapter 23**

The next morning Emily woke up in JJ's arms and for a moment she wondered if what had happened the previous night was just a dream. But when she felt the ring on her finger and instinctively touched it with her other hand, she knew that it couldn't have been a dream. JJ had really proposed to her and now she was lying in their bed in their bedroom, with JJ's hair in her face. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Looks good on you." JJ smiled as she took Emily's hand and gently touched the finger with the ring.

"You think?" Emily teased.

"Most definitely." JJ grinned and Emily shifted positions so she was now facing the blonde. She placed a gentle kiss on JJ's lips.

"Well, I'll let you in on a little secret…" Emily stole another quick kiss, "I think it looks good on me too. And it feels good to be wearing it, it feels right." Emily added and looked into JJ's eyes to make sure the blonde knew how happy she had just made her.

"Well, I'm glad you think so." JJ sighed and she pulled Emily closer to her. "If you had any idea how nervous I was last night… I was so terrified that you might say no. But for some reason, I don't even know what that reason was, I felt like it was a good time to ask. It just hit me and…"

"Were you really worried I might say no?" Emily suddenly asked, not really knowing why JJ would ever be afraid of that.

"Yeah."

"Why? Didn't I tell you enough times that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?"

"You did, but I just…" JJ's voice trailed off for a moment, as she was trying to figure out the way to tell Emily what it was exactly that she was feeling, "I don't know, I guess a part of me was worried that you still…"

"What?" Emily interjected, seeing how hard it was for JJ to talk about it and knowing what she was trying to say. "That I wasn't over you leaving me for Will?"

"Yeah, I guess." JJ admitted sadly, a little overwhelmed how easily Emily could read her mind, although she knew it shouldn't really surprise her anymore. "I don't know, sometimes I just feel that no matter what I do or how hard I try, it just never going to be enough to make up for what I did."

"Do _I _make you feel like that?" Emily asked, desperately trying to think of what she might have done to make JJ feel so insecure. Emily had no doubt in her mind that JJ loved her and she was ready for their future together.

"No, Emily, of course not." JJ quickly protested and gently stroked Emily's cheek. "_You_ only make me feel good things, I promise." JJ looked at Emily the way that totally melted the brunette's heart. She had to capture the blonde's lips with her before JJ continued. "I guess I'm the one who still can't get over the fact how much I hurt you when I…"

Emily wouldn't let JJ finish as she crashed her lips against the liaison's. "Please don't do this to yourself." Emily almost begged once they broke the kiss. She couldn't stand the hurt in JJ's eyes, she couldn't stand the thought of the blonde spending the rest of her life carrying this guilt inside her. She wanted JJ to be happy, really happy, because that was what she deserved. That was what they both deserved. "I need you to know how unbelievably blessed I feel to have you in my life. And how happy you make me. And maybe everything that has happened had to happen to bring us to this very moment. So let's not think about the past and concentrate on the future, OK?" Emily looked at JJ for some sign that she was willing to do that. She thought the look in the liaison's eyes told her that she would. "When you put that ring on my finger, it was a new beginning. For both of us. So let's focus on the life that we're going to have, shall we?"

"There is nothing that I want more." JJ smiled as she intertwined her finger's with Emily. "I'm sorry I didn't have a romantic night planned for the proposal."

"JJ…" Emily wanted to tell her that it was OK, that it didn't matter, that it still was everything she would ever hope for in a proposal. And the only thing that mattered was that they were going to be spending the rest of their lives together. But JJ wouldn't let her say anything.

"I got that ring about two weeks ago and ever since then I have been trying to decide how and when I was going to do this. I kept coming up with scenarios and waiting for the perfect moment, but last night something just happened inside me and I felt like I had to ask you and I needed to know if you… I'm sorry it wasn't anything fancy."

"It was perfect." Emily kissed JJ gently on the lips. "It was everything I would ever want. You and the ring – that's all that matters. You wanting to make me your wife, that's all I need. All I could ever need. So if you think your proposal lacked anything, get over yourself, Jareau." Emily ordered and was relieved when she saw a huge smile spread across JJ's face. Emily knew JJ was finally slowly getting rid of all her fears and letting herself be really truly happy about the prospect of sharing her life with Emily.

"OK." JJ agreed, partly because she knew there was no point in arguing with Emily Prentiss, but mostly because as she looked at her lover and felt her hand gently stroking her arm, she knew that they were now in a good place, both ready to make a commitment for the future and forget about all the drama of the past. This really was a new beginning for both of them, without any fears and insecurities, without living in denial, getting confused or running away. "I love you, Emily Prentiss. And I can't wait for you to be my wife." JJ kissed Emily passionately, as if trying to show her how much she was looking forward to their future together.

"Well I can't wait to be your wife, Jennifer Jareau." Emily smiled as she managed to say when JJ broke the kiss for a moment. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into though." She joked.

"Oh I think I do." JJ grinned as she planted another kiss on Emily's lips. "And I happen to absolutely love what I'm getting myself into."

"Good." Emily sighed as she nestled in JJ's arms again. And as she laid in bed with the woman she loved more than life itself, she thought that maybe indeed everything they had been through was necessary for them to get to where they were. Maybe they had to go through all of this to finally see that there was just no way they could ever be apart. And whatever had happened had only made them realize how strong their love really was. And they had both seen too much to believe that their life was going to be perfect, but they knew that together they could face anything that life decided to throw at them.

THE END


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